The Surreal Life Revisited

A while back I discussed how the first season The Surreal Life caught my eye. I enjoyed the second season just as much, perhaps more. Something about taking forgotten celebrities (or barely-celebrities) and sticking them in a house Real World-style for two weeks just seems like pure brilliance to me. After all, how else could we have found out how cool Tammy Faye Messner really is.

But I have noticed a casting pattern. Below is how the list of celebrities breaks down over the first two seasons, the current season, and who I think would fit the spot well for the fourth season.

The Rapper
Season one featured Hammer and Vanilla Ice came on season two. This season, Public Enemy's Flavor Flav is the house's resident rapper. My pick for season four: Bushwick Bill.

The Crazy Woman
This role didn't come into play until season two, when assumed-nut Tammy Faye Messner turned out to be surprisingly normal and became the season's highlight. This time around Charo plays the "crazy woman" role. My pick for next season: Courtney Love.

The Crazy Man
Season one had a double-dose of crazy men: Vince Neil and Corey Feldman. Ron Jeremy was season two's representative. In season three, Flavor Flav fits this role, but he's already up there in the "Rapper" category. Season four should bring in "the other Corey" Haim to bring things full circle.

Person Who is Somehow Barely Famous
Season one's Gabrielle Carteris and playmate Brande Roderick and season two's Traci Bingham were all head-scratchers because, really, who would ever really wonder what they were up to (assuming one even knows who they are). This season, it's Brigitte Nielsen (who is currently having a fling on the show with Flavor Flav... seriously). Next season they need to call in Paris Hilton. Yes, she's annoying and has no right being famous, but that's precisely why she should be tapped (to come onto the show, you sicko!). Nichole Richie can visit for an episode.

Reality Show Representative
There's always one reality alumnus represented. In season one it was Survivor's Jerri Manthey. The following season brought us Trishelle from The Real World. This season it's the geekily-sexy-but-still-terribly-annoying Ryan Starr from the first American Idol. I'd go back to the American Idol well and bring in Fantasia Barrino just because she's so freaking cool.

Forgotten TV Star
This category always brings us the most interesting folks. Season one: Emmanuel Lewis. Season two: Erik Estrada (and there was a cameo by Gary Coleman). This season: Dave Coulier, who is a surprisingly cool cat and the only person who would room with Flavor Flav. My suggestion for season four: the guy who played Cousin Larry on Perfect Strangers.

I Couldn't Find a Place for Guys You Think Are Mellow But Really End Up Acting Like Asses
This is limited to this season's inclusion of NKOTB's Jordan Knight.

If you haven't seen The Surreal Life yet, give it a shot. It's no longer on the WB (or was it UPN? Eh, same thing.), so you'll have to look to VH1 to find it, but seeing Flavor Flav and Dave Coulier chilling makes it all worthwhile. Trust me.