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September 24th, 2008

Starbucks’ Hilarious Product Names

Let’s say you’re at Starbucks and decide to get a smoothie. (Remember, they sell those despite having promised to get “back to basics” earlier this year.) Instead of ordering a smoothie, though, you need to order a Vivanno™©, as that is the product’s name. Okay.

Let’s say you’re at Starbucks and decide to get a breakfast sandwich. (Again, “back to basics.”) Instead of calling it a breakfast sandwich you’ll need to call it… Piadini©™.

Can they just stop with the cutesy-poo faux-French names already? I’m still one of those old guys who will go into Starbucks and order a “small” coffee, or – on rare occasion – a “smoothie.” It’s just gotten silly, folks. It almost shocks me when I go to a Caribou and realize that they actually name their sizes as “small”, “medium”, and “large”.

Starbucks should really just rename everything on the menu. Iced tea? That’s Teainioo. Lemonade? Citrusania. Donuts? Holelessdoughinnio. Just think of the possibilities, people!

Posted in Food and Beverage

Aanen September 24, 2008, 2:13 pm

Maybe it’s a yuppie/upper class thing?

Rob September 24, 2008, 2:30 pm

Paul, I think you need to just sit down, have a Blueboise Muffinini, and calm down.

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