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October 9th, 2010

A cure for your happiness

It’s Saturday morning and you’re feeling great! It’s the start of a beautiful weekend with lots of goodness ahead. But what if you want to squash that feeling of contentment?

Go to the Virginia DMV to renew your license! Why? For these fun reasons!:

  • Their web site says the average wait time at the moment is 19 minutes and 46 seconds. By which, of course, they mean 2 hours and 45 minutes (the first 45 of those minutes spent waiting in a line to get a number so you can wait in line).
  • Their ticketing system makes use of multiple letters, so if you get ticket B46, you have no clue how much longer until you’re called because E113-120, F65-78, and D13-27 might still need to go in front of you.
  • The DMV employee can tell you that your license is expired even though it doesn’t actually expire for five more days.
  • When the security guard tells the line to “twist around, and then loop and come back” and no one has any idea what the hell he’s talking about, he then will make an insulting comment that “it’s not rocket science!”
  • You might just find yourself sitting next to Redskin Malcolm Kelly while he’s on the phone talking about one of his teammates getting dropped from the team in a shitty fashion. (He didn’t do this, alas.)

(That last one was actually kind of cool.)

Posted in Consumer Commentary, Everyday Life

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