Ted L. Nancy

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Friday June 16, 2000 -- 3:25:03PM

OK, I'll be the first to ask:

What the hell is this about?

;)

FROM: Robert
DATE: Friday June 16, 2000 -- 4:25:03PM

Didn't that guy steal his ideas from Michael Moore and that guy who played Father Guido Sarducci (something Lazlo)? Correct me if I'm wrong.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Friday June 16, 2000 -- 5:26:00PM

I don't think that Michael Moore's mantra (nice turn of the phrase, eh?) is similar to Ted L. Nancy's.

Nancy's overall goal is to annoy companies in small ways. For instance, he once wrote a hotel asking to keep his own ice machine in his room. Once wrote to a bra company and asked them about their leather boots... or vice versa?... and so on.

The letters are played totally straight, and the replies from the companies are quite humorous. SInce he writes nothing but letters, I wrote the Ping in that format, too.

The books come recommended. :)

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Friday June 16, 2000 -- 11:19:47PM

You're a nutty fellow, Paul. :)

FROM: Craig Bickley
DATE: Wednesday November 22, 2000 -- 3:45:25PM

I am a big fan of Mr. Nancy's work and he is quite hilarious. I have been communicating with him via email lately (allegedly) and he truly is an entertaining individual.

Craig Bickley
The Weakly Retort
http://weaklyretort.homestead.com

FROM: Susan Lombardi-Verticelli
DATE: Tuesday November 27, 2001 -- 4:14:01PM

Imagine my surprise to find that there are others out there trying to contact Mr. Nancy (Ted).
I have been writing Ted for many years now, and pride myself on the idea that the "Susan" he thanks in "Extra Nutty" must be me.
I have received ONE letter from Mr. Nancy and it wasn't even a letter, a picture, hand drawn, of himself.
I even have a 'Pip The Mighty Squeak' Fan Club. The only one around I am sure.

FROM: Steve Wilson
DATE: Monday June 2, 2003 -- 9:45:03 pm

So... Ted's real name is Paul; I always thought he was jerry Sienfeld

FROM: Ted L. Nancy
DATE: Thursday June 5, 2003 -- 1:08:13 am

ooogaa boooga!! oooga boooga!

FROM: Tobacco Joe Weedler
DATE: Wednesday June 25, 2003 -- 4:39:00 pm

Paul McAleer,
Daily Ping News

Dear Mr. McAleer:

Thank you for providing your provider to the general public at large. Having been a fan of your writings for some time now, I have a strange request I am hoping you might answer.

While finding that the best comfort obtainble for viewing internet porn is undertaken while in a costume resembling a giant turkey drum-stick; I wonder if that would hamper any visual viewing of your website?

The costume comes complete with it's own baster and jumbo-size paper leg caps. My question is that when my web-cam is on, would it be disturbing to young viewers of your website? My apartment is south facing, and during certain times of the year the incoming sunlight gives one the impression of being inside a large roaster oven.

Please advise, I look forward to your reply.

~ Joe

FROM: Heather
DATE: Tuesday March 9, 2004 -- 5:22:35 pm

It's 2004.....does anyone still use this website????

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday March 9, 2004 -- 5:35:26 pm

Nope, we've moved onto other websites instead.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Tuesday March 9, 2004 -- 5:40:28 pm

Speak for yourself, Ryan. I've been waiting here for almost four years!

FROM: Heather
DATE: Tuesday March 9, 2004 -- 10:02:37 pm

Dude that's a tragedy....anyway, cool, let's continue a 4 year old discussion.We'll call it Vintage Nancy.
So, Paul, you've had four years to think about it, what's your fav Nancy letter??

FROM:
DATE: Saturday January 1, 2005 -- 2:29:02 pm

FROM: Sue
DATE: Saturday July 23, 2005 -- 5:55:42 pm

Today I had a crappy day, so I wrote to some of my favorite hotels at the beach where I go and I re-read them just now. I laughed SO hard, totally inspired by Ted Nancy. I anxiously await the reply of the various hotels that I wrote these crazy requests too. Not as good as Nancys but darn close. I know we will be banned from some hotels now, but I don't care! It's worth it. I LOVE this guy. I want to have dinner with him. It will restore my faith in humanity! Anyone know how to get in touch wtih him? If he's reading, please drop me a line? I read your books over and over again. it annoys my husband. They helped me thru a move,
through being harrassed by jerks, through schooling, through work, through bad family get togethers and sleepless nights. WRITE MORE PLEASE!

FROM: Chris
DATE: Sunday September 4, 2005 -- 2:13:50 am

Ted L. Nancy is Jerry Seinfeld everyone.

FROM: Chuck [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday December 23, 2005 -- 1:15:14 pm

Ted inspires me! He are my letters to McDonalds and Proctor & Gamble:

P&G:
I love your Bounty toilet paper. It is the best toilet paper product I have ever purchased. I love the lavender scent and while it can be abrasive sometimes if you are a "hard wiper", it always gets the job done and is indeed "The Quicker Picker Upper" in all the bathrooms of my home.

My only complaint is the size. I have searched high and low yet I cannot find a roll that fits the toilet roll built into my bathroom wall. It is nearly 2.25 times too long for my pre existing holder.

My ever present question to you is "Where do I find a roll of Bounty that will fit the 5.75" toilet paper rod in my bathroom"??

I do not want to quit using Bounty toilet paper but the large roll is clumsy and unappealing in my bathroom.

Please let me know how to get a size that fits without having to cut it myself. Also, my other favorite is the Chocolate Cherry Cordial variety. I keep it in my upstairs bathroom for special guest.

Your favorite consumer,
Chuck

And to McDonalds:


I just wanted to tell you how much I love the homemade salads at our local McDonalds. My favorite is the "Pickled Beet" salad but I also love the "Garbage Can" salad. The manager said that her grandmother (god rest her soul) invented the "Garbage Can" salad one Thanksgiving back in the 1970's and that it had been in her family for generations now.

It is the most delicious salad I have ever had and I love the fact that every ingredient in it is organically grown with hydroponics in her basement. She says she takes great care and never touches any of them with her hands. (Except the pickles of course)

I wish I could get these delicious salads at some of your other restaurants. I also would like to be able to purchase some of the home made "Grandma's Selects" dressings that you offer in this store.

"French Select Basil" is my favorite but I have also had the "Tarragon Basil Hearty Cheddar" and the "Tomato Thyme Tasty Treat". I did not care for that one, the tomatos tasted a little spoiled but the manager said that was just the one batch, but I am afraid to try it again, it made me kind of woozy.

Please let me know if you will begin marketing these delicious salads and dressings in your other fine dining establishments as it is a long drive for me and this local restaurant is the only one so far that has these available to me.

Sincerely,

Chuck H.