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February 21st, 2006

What should I do?

So there’s this Dartmouth graduate that signed up for Classmates.com with an e-mail address at one of my domains by accident. Since that domain has catch-all addresses turned on, I’ve gotten all of his Classmates e-mail. This means I could request his password and go in and have some fun with his account.

Of course, I’d never do that. But if I were to give into evil, what types of things should I change in his profile? I’m thinking one could have a lot of fun with the “current career” section of his profile (“Now working as a prostitute”), or the open-ended questions about school history (“Boy did I boink the heck out of our 80-year-old phys ed teacher!”). I’m looking for classy suggestions, like those.

Posted in Everyday Life

FROM: Cat [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday February 21, 2006 -- 10:09:14 am
I think I'd go for a movie reference. Change him into John Cusack's character from Grosse Pointe Blank or one of the women from Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion.



FROM: COD
DATE: Tuesday February 21, 2006 -- 10:57:03 am
The word slander comes to mind... but yeah, I think Cat has the right idea. Do something so obviously fake that he'll never be able to prove malicious intent.



FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday February 21, 2006 -- 11:04:18 am
Again, I'm not doing any of this. I'd never think of such a thing.

Now keep the ideas coming.



FROM: jk
DATE: Tuesday February 21, 2006 -- 11:51:58 am
Didn't he invent velcro?



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Tuesday February 21, 2006 -- 4:41:30 pm
President and Founder of Bee-Gees North America Fan Club.



FROM: Merle [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday February 26, 2006 -- 10:45:05 am
I have this problem constantly -- maybe twice a week someone will use my primary domain or a yahoo address I have that is quite short.

Usually I will give them a job like "janitor", a spouse, and three children, one of whom will have been born when the person was fourteen.

I get a lot of matchmaker people using my email address. For those I simply reverse their gender preference.

Erm, not that I am evil per se. Think of it! These people used your address. Forevermore you will get the spam that they should get, because these people never click the "no, don't send me your daily newsletter" option. "slander"? Feh. They can try that. I will claim emotional damage and countersue.



FROM: Lisa E.
DATE: Sunday February 26, 2006 -- 3:53:22 pm
Now, just thinking off the top of my head

<~innocent

Id check out the profiles of his classmates and stir that pot a bit... under career - porn webmaster and direct them to some *cough* adult *cough* match-making site - directly to a profile where some narcissist is showing off his worldly goods...bound to be loads of those - just find someone truly hideous...



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