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March 9th, 2003

Old Fezziwig’s Kidney Stone

Some of you long-time Pingers may remember one of the Ping’s old school members, Old Fezziwig. He hasn’t been around in a while, and I think I’ve found out why.

Poor fella. The kidney stone was working its way through his system and by February 28th, it was in his bladder, ready to find its way out. Unfortuantely, no updates have been made to his site since, so the only thing I can assume is that the kidney stone tore through the remainder of his system, rendering him a vegetable confined to a Stephen Hawking wheelchair for the remainder of his years.

Sorry, old fella. But don’t worry, we’ll always remember you.

Posted in Just Plain Odd

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday March 9, 2003 -- 1:26:50 am
Damn, I miss OF.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Sunday March 9, 2003 -- 9:29:03 am
Oh man.

That is by far the most painful thing a man can go through.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday March 9, 2003 -- 12:17:31 pm
It beats castration (or so I would like to believe).

FROM: Marcus
DATE: Monday March 10, 2003 -- 9:18:01 am
As someone that has experienced this... trust me... You don't wanna. ::cringing:: Especially if the stone gets stuck like mine did. :-X They initially thought I'd pass it, so they gave me some Demerol at the hospital (fun), and sent me home with some strong horsepills (Vicodine; most say these could be considered as fun as Demerol... to me it's like taking Tylenol, achieves nothing) that did absolutely nothing by the end of the week to stop the pain.

So, back in to the hospital I went, where I was admitted, IV'ed (and after a weekend of 2 liter bags of saline pumped through your body; one after another, you become very tired of peeing), x-rayed, scoped (dare I mention... where it's passed up?), stented (a plastic tube run from your ureter into your kidney), sent for outpatient Lithotripsy (up to 3,000 volts of electricity targeted on your kidney through a water filled plastic pillow, fired in conjunction with your heartbeat), sent home to urinate through screened funnels 'til the stone fragments pass, and well... going back in to have the scope sent in "YET AGAIN" to remove the stent. Definitely not your idea of a good time, I'm sure.

Oh, and as another addendum...

Most women that I spoke to that had, had them (and yes, they can) have told me that it is as close to the experience of giving birth that you could ever endure. I've even had quite a few women who have experienced both tell me that it's actually more painful. Of course, I tend to believe that the rewards of having a child to most women make it seem so, because if the other pain is remotely close to the pain of a kidney stone, I doubt you could estimate the difference. I figure both would be "OH $%$%$!!!" levels of pain. As in way past the point where as Carol Burnette suggests "It feels like wrapping your bottom lip over your head." To me, that would've even been halfway bearable I think, honestly.

I tell you though, after enduring it, you definitely attain an increased respect for what women go through during pregnancy, if you didn't have it already. My hat's off to 'em... it was off to 'em before... but wow. To experience it is to respect it all so much more. Trussssst me.

FROM: Old Fezziwig
DATE: Monday March 10, 2003 -- 1:48:30 pm
Hey Pingers! I'm still around, just been playing the role of lurker for the past several months/years. I feel so honored to be the subject of a Ping, even if it is about the attack on my urinary tract.
As Marcus pointed out, I have a new found respect for women who give birth. Holy crap, did this thing hurt! When it passed from my kidney to my bladder via my ureter, it felt like someone was stabbing me in the back with a steak knife for 20 minutes straight. I've since likened it to shoving a spiked tennis ball thru a garden hose very slowly. The stone still resides in my bladder and I'm drinking plenty of fluids (mostly beer) to try and flush it out. I still get quick flashes of pain in my bladder area from time to time...a reminder from the kidney stone Gods that I haven't beat this thing yet. I was lucky that my stone was relatively small and I didn't have to go thru all the medical procedures that Marcus did. But the more people I talk to, the worse the stories about their kidney stone experiences get.
To all you kids out there, stay hydrated and drink plenty of water!!

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Monday March 10, 2003 -- 1:56:58 pm
Glad to hear that you haven't passed, OF, but disappointed that your kidney stone hasn't either.

FROM: Old Fezziwig
DATE: Thursday March 13, 2003 -- 1:00:42 pm
Just wanted to let all my well-wishers know that I finally passed my kidney stone today! It was uneventful to say the pain or anything. Guess I lucked out with a little stone; it looked like a piece of rice.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Thursday March 13, 2003 -- 1:14:17 pm
Congrats! What did you name it?

FROM: Paul
DATE: Thursday March 13, 2003 -- 1:15:44 pm
Congrats, OF! Be sure to keep it - it might be worth something, someday.

FROM: Old Fezziwig
DATE: Friday March 14, 2003 -- 8:55:58 am
Maybe I'll sell it on e-bay since it's technically not a 'body part' anymore.

FROM: towinlovinit
DATE: Monday March 24, 2003 -- 3:05:36 pm
You should make a fortune!

DATE: Saturday June 28, 2003 -- 9:00:17 pm

DATE: Saturday June 28, 2003 -- 9:00:17 pm

FROM: Mark [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday June 28, 2003 -- 9:07:06 pm
I have a kidney stone that has passed into my bladder and I am waiting for the final pass. Your message of it being uneventful has left me with some hope ... Your comments have made me laugh and I agree a new found respect for child birth has overcome me since the stone was first logged in my kindney.
Thanks for relating your experience it has given me an great insite into this kidney stone journey.

DATE: Tuesday January 6, 2004 -- 10:08:31 am
Does anybody know where I can sell my kidney........desperate mother!

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday January 6, 2004 -- 11:42:39 am

DATE: Sunday December 19, 2004 -- 4:13:00 pm
I was wondering what happened to him, i remeber i found this site while looking for a good school prank and he had quite a few comments. So it has been awhile, poor fella, i didnt know he had a website tho and i was gonna ask what happened to him and i typed old fezziwig on ur search engine and found out this bad info, maybe if i get an etreme pain in my crotch i will get a personal ping, i can dream.

FROM: Montree
DATE: Tuesday April 19, 2005 -- 1:22:44 am
My family has serious financial problems.I want to give one of my kidney to who can give me the LOAN of 250,000 USD. I'm 35 years old man,healthy,no alcohol,no drug,no smoking.My blood type is "O".
I'm waiting for you at

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday April 19, 2005 -- 9:47:06 am
Let's see....lungs...heart..brain...kidney....Nope, I'm fully stocked. Thanks anyways!

Maybe you can ask one of your Ethiopian scammer friends for some help!

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday April 19, 2005 -- 11:11:52 am
I'd love to meet that person who would take Montree up on his offer. They'd automatically win the World's Stupidest Pinger award.

FROM: dave
DATE: Tuesday April 19, 2005 -- 3:55:10 pm
So like, when you pay back the LOAN, you want your kidney back? Is this like a pawn shop for organs? I'm afraid I get to charge interest...I keep your thyroid.

What is this then?

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