Dear every songwriter ever,
Listen, I know that songwriting is difficult. It’s not easy. No one, I think, has ever claimed that songwriting is easy – except for people peddling instructional books and videos on QVC.
But I want to call all of you out who have written songs that are, directly or slightly directly, about the songwriting process and how hard it is. And how big and bad the record industry is. Listen: we know. We know you’re getting screwed by your record company over a song that took you years to write. Okay? Moreso, we don’t want to hear you whining about it anymore.
If you continue, I’ll write a song about what a pain it was – literally – to sprain my knee on the day before Thanksgiving and go to the ER at 3am on Thanksgiving morning. And no one needs to hear that.
ps: Naturally this goes double for Gwen Stefani.
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