The Daily Ping

There were rumors of a Ping book, but those were started on the internet.

February 26th, 2006

Hamburger

It all started innocently enough. I was reading through Crain’s Chicago Business and came upon the headline, DeVry names Hamburger as new CEO.

I then had an occasion to instant message Pinger Greg and, well, this ensued.

Me: Mr. ?Pickles on the Side? Hamburger.
Me: Mr. ?Ketchup Only? Hamburger.
Me: I hope I never have a beef with Mr. Hamburger!
Greg: If he?s completed a good task, it?s ?Well done? Hamburger.
Me: It?s rare to see a Hamburger in power.
Greg: After a late night out with the boys, I bet he gets ?grilled? by the wife.
Me: When he goes on the web, I hear he gets flamed for his views.
Me: I hope his wife?s name is Patty.
Me: Poor guy. I?m sure wherever he goes, he gets raked over the coals.
Greg: What would you like for dinner tonight, Hamburger?
Me: If he eats hamburger for dinner, is that cannibalism?
Greg: If he?s on a diet, he?s going for a lean hamburger.
Me: The latest rumor on Hamburger is juicy.
Greg: Is his first name Chuck?
Me: He?s a fan of raw humor.
Greg: You can get e-coli from Hamburger.
Me: Hamburger runs the place like he?s the King.
Me: You know, when Hamburger looks at Patty? she just melts.
Me: I heard from his underlings that he just fries ’em.
Greg: Do you threaten him with ?you?re dead meat”?
Me: People look to Hamburger to trim the fat.

Please, tell me you have some more. Please?

Posted in Just Plain Odd

FROM: jk
DATE: Sunday February 26, 2006 -- 6:00:40 pm
Patty nicknamed him "Hamburlgar" after he stole her heart!



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 8:17:08 am
Maybe Patty met him at a meat market.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 8:17:32 am
He probably has a cheesy wardrobe.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 8:17:55 am
His favorite line is probably "Eat Me."



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 8:18:49 am
He's got a half-baked brother nicknamed Meatloaf.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 8:19:43 am
If he's the new CEO, that makes him the Big Cheeseburger.



FROM: jk
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 9:13:43 pm
He has a hard time wearing his wedding ring because he has meaty fingers.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 10:24:40 pm
The ladies think Mr. Hamburger has nice buns.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 10:25:55 pm
Don't let Mr. Hamburger show you his pickle. It's a dill!



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 10:27:43 pm
For his unorthodox ways, Mr. Hamburger is considered to be quite the hot dog.



FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 10:28:44 pm
His leadership style is characterized as "Have It Your Way."



FROM: jk
DATE: Monday February 27, 2006 -- 10:58:40 pm
Vegetarian Pingers actually prefer his brother, Garden Burger.



FROM: jk
DATE: Tuesday February 28, 2006 -- 10:48:01 pm
His German subsidiaries address him as "Herr Burgermeister."

I've got hundreds of these....



What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings

Last Week's Most Popular Pings

Let's be nice.

© 2000-2011 The Daily Ping, all rights reserved. Tilted sidebar note idea 'adapted' from Panic. Powered by the mighty WordPress.