The Daily Ping

There were rumors of a Ping book, but those were started on the internet.

November 11th, 2006

X Items or Less

Situation: you encounter someone in front of you in the “x items or less” line with clearly a number > x. You:

a. Say, “Excuse me, it seems you have more than the allotted number of items. Would you please move to a more appropriate line?”

b. Say, “Hey, dummy. Can’t you count?”

c. Say nothing, but sigh and grumble to yourself.

d. Think, “Oh, it’s no big deal. He’s probably in a rush and this will help him get home to his family sooner.”

e. Call the police because a murder’s about to be committed.

I usually opt for c.

Posted in Everyday Life

COD November 11, 2006, 5:13 pm

I ask loudly, is this the 10 and under line?

Adam November 11, 2006, 8:34 pm

Yeah, I’m not one to make a scene so I usually opt for C as well. I figure an argument with me is highly possible and would likely only delay things further. It’s not like he/she doesn’t know they have more than the designated number.

Alan Bluehole November 11, 2006, 8:59 pm

I would never actually do this, but it would be fun to remove a few items and put them — I dunno — on the magazine rack or something, just to help the person stay within the limit.

Steve A November 11, 2006, 9:59 pm

C – but damnit it pisses me off!


j. Mannion November 11, 2006, 11:11 pm

King Soopers Grocery, 32nd and Youngfield Street, Wheatridge, Colorado, somewhere around 1994. I arrive at the checkstands and they were crowded as usual, however, the six items or less line was vacant as was the twelve items or less lane. The checker, whom I knew from my many visits to the store, motioned for me to come to her six items or less line: I was toting seven items.

I plunked them on the conveyor and just about the time the checker scanned the first item some very big and mouthy fellow arrives and tell me I have seven items. I look at him and the checker tells him she asked me over. She has the items checked and I am paying and all this took about two minutes, or less.

I leave and in view of the fact the parking lot is big, I was parked near the other end because I has shopped at another store. As I’m walking along I hear this voice, look back and this ape is closing on me nearly at a full run. He is screaming like a maniac about my getting ahead of him in the checkout line. We are beginning to gather an audience as I reach my car. He is setting has small bag down and is preparing to mash me like a gnat when I open the car door and let my forty pound Chow out of the back seat.

My dog liked to ride and always waited patiently for me. She was very protective and this large fellow saw my cinnamon colored Chow with her fangs bared and front legs dancing in place just awaiting my command to rip into him. I was surprised how a big, tough bully like him cowered to a small dog with a lot of heart. He backed away. picked up his bag and left to the boos and hisses of the half dozen or so people who witnessed the charade.

So, I say speak quietly and have a mean dog at your side. In my case I never said a word, my dog never made a sound either.

The old Indian saying is: Beware of the man who doesn’t speak and the dog that doesn’t bark.

Ryan November 27, 2006, 10:03 pm

Interestfully, when I wrote this I hadn’t had such an experience in a while. But, the very next day I was in the “15 items or less” self-service line with a mere two items and the guy in front of me had an _entire cartful_ of stuff that ended up totalling $180. I’m convinced he didn’t notice the “15 or less” designation (I didn’t until he had already started), but he could have at least looked back at the two items I held in my hand and let me go first.

Sucker punk.

What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings