The Daily Ping

Fred "Rerun" Barry once commented here.

May 27th, 2007


One book that always gets a lot of laughs at our place is Applicant, a zine-sized paperback made up of confidential Ph.D. applicant files for the biology department at an Ivy League university. In addition to photos were plenty of comments about the applicants, things you hope would never be written by your picture next to any application. Like…

“Not as physically attractive as some” (because that’s so important for the biology department).

“Weakness, she is a female, and an attractive, modest one, so she is bound to marry” (run for the hills!).

Or, my favorite: “Miss M— is black. She seems well adjusted to society as it pertains to acceptance and/or discrimination.”

For $3, it’d be hard to find better bathroom reading.

Posted in Just Plain Odd

jk May 27, 2007, 5:56 pm

It would be appropriate reading for a 1950s retro bathroom?

Paul McAleer May 28, 2007, 12:57 pm

The “Applicant” puts me in mind of the Royal Navy Officer fitness reports I came across the other day, I’ve pasted some to these comments… hope it’s too long as a comment but I do hate to see a lonely Ping.

The British Military writes EPR’s an officer fitness reports.
The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206.
The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”…


– His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
– I would not breed from this Officer.
– This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.
– When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
– He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
– He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
– Technically sound, but socially impossible.
– This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
– This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
– When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
– This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
– Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
– She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
– He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
– This Officer should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.
– In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
– This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
– The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
– Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

Steve A May 29, 2007, 10:50 am

Paul McA

Those “bullets,” as we called them in the US Navy, have been around as long as evaluations and fitness reports have been. I remember seeing some of those lines over 20 years ago when I was midway through my career.

I guess the only thing that has changed was the wording and possibly the spelling.


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