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September 29th, 2000

Dead Baby Jokes

Today, I give you two of over one-thousand web pages with the ultimate in tastelessness: dead baby jokes.

Thanks to Pinger Rob for the idea. 😉 -ram

Posted in Just Plain Odd

FROM: Matt
DATE: Thursday September 28, 2000 -- 11:44:19PM
I was at a baseball camp the summer after sixth grade when I heard one of my first dead baby jokes. It was: whats purple and scrapes on a glass? A baby in a microwave.
Sick NY bastards thanks for tainting me.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Friday September 29, 2000 -- 10:34:34AM
That second site appears to be so great that it is forbidden for me to access. Holy crow!

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Friday September 29, 2000 -- 2:01:13PM
Odd, Robert -- it's coming up for me just fine.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Friday September 29, 2000 -- 7:14:59PM
Ryan--The place where I'm working has some kinda NetNanny crap on all the computers and it blocked me out of that site. It also kept me out of the Onion.

FROM: Leslie Jenkins
DATE: Monday April 23, 2001 -- 7:40:05PM
hey man, i just have to tell you that these r the funniest jokes i have ever heard! THANX for putting them on here for us to read.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Tuesday April 24, 2001 -- 9:08:03AM
Leslie--I think your email address is the funniest thing I've ever read.

FROM: Jon Q. Funny Guy
DATE: Sunday April 29, 2001 -- 10:52:05PM
I think those dead baby jokes are funny as hell. Me and my friends were laughing for hours, but i think we are all going to hell, but were goin ' lauging

DATE: Tuesday May 8, 2001 -- 3:32:07PM

FROM: mel
DATE: Tuesday May 8, 2001 -- 3:49:20PM
The funniest part is Ben putting "(geddit)" at the end of his name. Just in case you missed that.

FROM: Brianna Cunningham
DATE: Tuesday June 5, 2001 -- 11:13:51AM
My friend Meagan and I are constantly cracked up my dead baby jokes. People around us think they're childish, sick, or even morbid.. but we love them because they're god-damned hilarious. Here's a good one guys.

What's the best part of stapling a dead baby t a tree?
What sits in front a mirror and gets smaller and smaller?

DATE: Tuesday June 5, 2001 -- 11:13:57AM
My friend Brianna and I are kept amused and entertained for hours on end with "DEAD BABY JOKES".The parental units think they are totally disgusting, and morbid. Here's a few that I find quite funny.. HAHA
What sits in front of the mirror and gets smaller and smaller?
What's blue and yellow(or any bright colour) and at the bottom of the pool?
What's more fun than shoveling dead babies off your porch?
Why did the baby cross the road?
I'm really not as sick as you think..ha.ha.ha. I just think these jokes are extremely funny..

FROM: Robert
DATE: Tuesday June 5, 2001 -- 12:24:22PM
Sure, you think it's all so funny until it's your own baby stapled to a chicken.

FROM: bare ass me again
DATE: Monday October 28, 2002 -- 3:34:28 pm
What walks in a circle slowly getting slower and slower? A baby with a nail in its foot!

DATE: Thursday November 7, 2002 -- 11:48:17 am
these jokes are gettin kinda new ones need created, such as: whats black and blue and doesnt like sex? THE 8-YR.-OLD IN MY TRUNK!

DATE: Thursday November 7, 2002 -- 11:50:45 am
well, maybe not lame, just repetitive. im not tryin to insult anyone, but every dead baby site has all the same jokes...oh yeah...what do you get when you throw a dead baby down the stairs?...An erection!...sorry that ones sick

FROM: Kim Houlton
DATE: Tuesday November 12, 2002 -- 10:51:45 am
This Jokes Are Very Funny

DATE: Wednesday November 13, 2002 -- 8:01:40 am
Kim's email address is almost as good as Leslie's one further up the ping!

DATE: Monday December 16, 2002 -- 6:08:23 pm
how do you make a baby cry twice?
wipe ur bloody dick on its teddy bear:)

FROM: Scott Quade
DATE: Tuesday December 17, 2002 -- 6:11:40 pm
Who ever thought of these jokes are some sick pepole and should be shot, but some are funny.

FROM: Adam
DATE: Wednesday December 18, 2002 -- 1:45:30 am
They were mostly ok, but this one killed me: A woman is lying in her hospital bed after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.

When the baby is born, the nurse looks at the mother and says
with a sad voice I am sorry, but your baby is stillborn.

MAD with sorrow the mother THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....

The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He wasn't DEAD !!!!!!!!!!

That is fucking hilarious!

FROM: Micky
DATE: Friday December 20, 2002 -- 10:19:18 pm
What is the easiest way to get rid of the baby's dead body?
Eat it!!!!!!!!!

FROM: Tank Girl
DATE: Friday January 3, 2003 -- 9:57:23 pm
What 13 inches long ... purple and makes women scream?

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

DATE: Saturday June 7, 2003 -- 9:38:05 am

FROM: fritzy
DATE: Saturday June 7, 2003 -- 9:39:04 am
Q: whats the difference between a mound of dead babies and a bmw?
A: I dont have a bmw in my garage

FROM: caitlin
DATE: Thursday January 29, 2004 -- 8:56:51 pm
wellses...dead baby jokes rock socks...but someone needs to sit down and make up some new ones...i mean theyre funny the first few times but after that they just get old...actually hilarious..but whatever

FROM: drity rodriguez
DATE: Wednesday February 4, 2004 -- 11:07:09 am

FROM: michelle
DATE: Saturday November 19, 2005 -- 1:55:02 pm
these jokes are the funniest things ive ever heard in my life. people said that if someone in school caught me with them i would be sent to guidence. if anyone has any good ones e-mail me (( )) or IM me MichelleXLauren

Alice Ghezzi May 15, 2007, 12:46 am

what is easiler to get get out of the boot of your car????
40 dead babies or 40 bricks???

40 dead babies coz u can use a fork

jonathan buckingham November 19, 2010, 4:17 pm

whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothsline.
hitting it off with a shovel!

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