The Daily Ping

Can't get enough of Paul and Ryan collaborations? Visit the It's 2011, Folks tumblelog!

October 10th, 2000

Ages of Importance

For some reason, getting older’s on my mind today. Here are some thoughts on the "big ages" in one’s life.

age 0-3: you’re a toddler. Just learning the ropes. Getting out there. Learning to talk, walk, and all that good stuff.
age 3-7: you’re not that cute anymore. Unless you’re cute by nature; then you’re good for life.
age 7-10: you find that the world is bigger than your neighborhood. by far.
age 10-12: the tweens. You really really really want to have "teen" as a suffix on your age.
age 13-16: early teens! Social life. Good stuff happens. And of course, driving kicks in at 16.
age 17: nothing.
age 18: first step of legality! You get to vote.
age 19-20: nothing, again.
age 21: second step of legality: lots of good stuff happens. You can drink legally, for one.
age 22: nothing.
age 23: your car insurance probably goes down, and you can get into more nightclubs.
age 24: nothing.
age 25: your car insurance goes down, again, and you’re a quarter of the way done, if all goes well.
age 26-29: worry about turning 30.
age 30-39: worry aobut turning 40.
age 40-49: worry about turning 50.
age 50-54: worry about being able to join AARP.
age 55: join AARP.
age 56-60: say "screw it" and start enjoying things instead of worrying about getting older
age 61-70: young senior citizen. Discounts really kick in. Coffee becomes a friend at Denny’s.
age 71-73: if you’re a very typical male, you’re getting close to the average life expectancy. Females have a few more years to go, at least.
age 90: you’re full of wisdom, and truly priceless.
age 100: you’re an elite.

There’s a lot ahead, isn’t there? -pm

Posted in Everyday Life

What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings