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August 3rd, 2001

Kenny Rogers Makes My Ears Bleed!

There’s only one commercial that can make my ears bleed… that’s so utterly painful to endure, I’m actually angry by the end of the commercial… that commercial is for Kenny Rogers’ Always and Forever CD.

It’s one of those 2-CD sets that costs the outrageous price of $24.99 plus $5 shipping and is sold on the high-class site alongside classics like AM Gold, Everybody Polka, Kidz Bop, and Monsters of Rap. I never was a fan of Kenny Rogers by any stretch, but I had no idea how incredibly awful he actually was until I heard him do renditions of “When A Man Loves A Woman,” “The Wind Beneath My Wings,” and “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You.” I’m telling you, folks, this makes that lip-synching Anne Murray commerical seem like Heaven.

But the absolute worst part of the commerical comes at the end, when Kenny starts belting out “I Will Always Love You.” It’s a song that’s supposed to be filled with emotion and dynamic singing, but Kenny treats it like a flaccid member and just lets it hang. He sounds like a nearly dead-dog’s monotone moan when he’s ready to give up the fight.

I wish somebody would tell him that he’s beyond a gambler for putting out an awful collection of covers like these. Maybe he should spend more time palling around with guys who like like Kenny Rogers and less time in the studio. How this guy is a country legend, I’ll never understand. You gotta’ know when to fold ’em, Kenny. -ram

Posted in Television, Movies, and Music

FROM: Matt
DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 12:42:17AM
I've never heard any of these covers, and doubt they are any good. I do however feel that Rogers has talent and lots of his back catalogue is good to listen to when trying to take naps.
Also, he has a fine line of restaurants bearing his name, although he no longer owns them.

FROM: Dave
DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 7:49:09AM
I know this has nothing to do with the Ping but today is FRIDAY AUGUST 3rd and your title says SATURDAY

FROM: Paul
DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 9:01:09AM
Actually, Ryan invented time travel. So today really IS Saturday August 3rd (tell your employers.)

DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 9:01:55AM
My mom loved Kenny Rogers back when he was doin' the country thing. She lost the faith when he switched to doing this kind of garbage.

But man... Kenny's got some manboobs...

DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 11:05:18AM
I once saw Kenny Rogers live. With special guest Dotty West.

I swear it wasn't my idea.

FROM: i am mike
DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 5:02:51PM
kenny rogers does indeed suck. and i have seen the commercial you are referring to. i think kenny rogers would be good if he sang different songs, changed his look, changed his style, and his voice. oh yeah, and i would like him if he were someone other than kenny rogers... like johnny cash. kidding. cash sucks too.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Friday August 3, 2001 -- 6:17:28PM
Now I know what I want on my tombstone:

It's a song that's supposed to be filled with emotion and dynamic singing, but Kenny treats it like a flaccid member and just lets it hang.

Something to that effect.

FROM: Kenny Killer
DATE: Tuesday January 28, 2003 -- 4:54:06 pm

DATE: Saturday January 1, 2005 -- 3:32:00 pm

DATE: Saturday April 30, 2005 -- 5:54:21 pm
Kenny Rogers sings the worst music I have ever heard. Apart from "The Gambler", every one of his songs are horrible. I can't believe I'm even COMMENTING on this.

PS: As a musician, I completly respect Kenny and what he has tried and failed do.

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