The Daily Ping

The Ping is self-aware.

November 23rd, 2002

The Puke Magnet

I don’t ride the DC Metro system that often, maybe once every couple of months. But in the last two years, I’ve been in the same car as a drunk person that’s puked all over himself.

Last night was the third time. As I got up to leave, a young man, probably about college age, was leaning against the doors, clutching his jacket close to him. All down the front of him, on his jacket and shoes, and on the ground was whatever he had for dinner (it was something with carrots, that I know).

Something about me attracts habitual vomiters (vomiteers?).

Posted in Everyday Life

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday November 23, 2002 -- 3:17:52 pm
I bet that car smelled wonderful.

FROM: Monica
DATE: Saturday November 23, 2002 -- 3:45:39 pm
you could start a club! With hats that have carrots on them! :-P

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Sunday November 24, 2002 -- 12:11:15 am
Oddly, Robert, there was no odor... good thing, too, or there would have been Ping Upchuck on the windows once I caught a whiff.

FROM: Matt
DATE: Sunday November 24, 2002 -- 12:48:19 am
You could bring in Carrot Top and have him do puke commercials live.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday November 24, 2002 -- 2:33:12 am
What would we find in Ping Upchuck? Lots of Oreo pieces, I bet . . .

FROM: dave
DATE: Tuesday November 26, 2002 -- 5:23:24 pm
Last year I was on the DC Metro Yellow Line just minding my own business...when some woman walked over to the back corner of the car and squatted down and peed all over the floor...giggling the entire time.

FROM: Vince
DATE: Wednesday November 27, 2002 -- 11:27:58 am
Sounds like the DC Metro is a real fun fest. I wish my town had a sizeable enough public transportation system so I could see these things, too.

One time, I was riding a bus in what passes for public transport in this city, and some guy got on that looked like he'd just crawled a mile through a dump. I did the whole urban no-eye-contact thing and hoped fervently that he would not sit next to me. Of course, he did.

The odor was almost indescribable. It was as if every one of his body fluids had been captured by his clothes and allowed to ferment. Law enforcement agencies could bottle the stench and use it as a nonlethal weapon, but they might get resistance from people who think this would be excessive force.

What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings

Last Week's Most Popular Pings

Let's be nice.

© 2000-2011 The Daily Ping, all rights reserved. Tilted sidebar note idea 'adapted' from Panic. Powered by the mighty WordPress.