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April 24th, 2003

The Internet Closes At Nine

It’s time to fess up: I’ve been, occasionally, thinking about making up false information about the Internet so people I know who are new to it don’t use it.

It’s bad. I know. I leave the moral judgment at the door.

My favorite one, by far, is telling people that the Internet is only open from 9am to 9pm every day and is closed on Sundays. It just won’t work. You go somewhere, it’s closed. I am also thinking of telling people that AOL doesn’t work on the Internet (“they’re incompatible”), CDs don’t work on the Internet (ahem), and the Internet requires a faster hard drive (not CPU, you’ll notice.)

Think it’ll work? It’ll take a miracle. Got any ideas about closing the Internet?

Posted in Technology

FROM: Chris [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday April 24, 2003 -- 9:10:56 am
How about "It doesn't work with Windows" Of course, this will catch the exact same people that are caught with "it doesn't work with AOL."

FROM: Tara [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday April 24, 2003 -- 4:39:07 pm
i work in a computer lab on a college campus and this kind of information would freak people out (because they would believe it) and then i would have to spend all my time explaining to them why its not true. this would like my life very hard :(
but it would be funny.

FROM: Greg C
DATE: Thursday April 24, 2003 -- 8:47:12 pm
Watch out for that sort of thing, dude. You tell people it needs a faster hard drive and they'll think the entire computer sans monitor.

FROM: Chris L
DATE: Thursday April 24, 2003 -- 8:51:08 pm
You guys are a bunch of losers stop talking about this gay shit and get a life why try to trick people

FROM: Dave Walls
DATE: Thursday April 24, 2003 -- 10:17:47 pm
...because we like to trick people who don't use punctuation in sentences, that's why.

FROM: towinlovinit
DATE: Friday April 25, 2003 -- 3:40:32 am
just think about this! If you tell people that something doesn't work even though you know it does, and they are gullible to believe it without checking it out first, and then you have to explain it for them of how it does work, just think of all the money you could make. Don't the rich folks make alot of money on gullible people?

FROM: Dave Walls
DATE: Friday April 25, 2003 -- 6:25:24 pm
My friends and I played a great trick on lab users at a local college not too long ago, and it's all the Ping's fault.

With the permission of the system administrator, we set the home page on all web browsers to The Mirrored Google. All morning long, newbie came up saying that "The Net was backwards", or the search engine was "broken". With straight faces, we told them to keep hitting refresh, and the page would turn around. We got a couple great hours out of it. :)

Aint I a stinker?

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Saturday April 26, 2003 -- 1:48:03 am
Oh man, that's beautiful...

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