The Daily Ping

Apple did not consult with us when they named Ping, Ping.

May 7th, 2003

The 2004 Election

Yes, it’s probably a little early to start discussing politics here on the Ping… after all, the 2004 Presidential Election is, well, over a year away. But, swinging by my favorite election-time site, Politics1.com, I noticed that there’s already some good 2004 information available.

I’m extremely disappointed to see that this year may be the worst in the last few decades for third parties: very few seem to be stepping up to the plate. And it’s not just that candidates from the more recognizable third parties (or even less recognizable third parties) haven’t confirmed that they’re running: a lot of them have already “disclaimed interest” in running. I’ll hold off on lamenting this in a long essay until closer to election time, though. For now, I just want to throw all of my support (and the Daily Ping’s support, I’m sure) behind a candidate who truly has a shot at winning this thing:

Henri Calitri, an independent from New Jersey. Here is an excerpt from his letter to Politics1.com describing his platform:

My political party believes in expressing as many laws to put forth as can possibly be conceived … My dreams consist of forming a unit composed of a modern couple who will assimilate information on the magic techniques of penis enlargement through articles in popular magazines and medical journals … I am looking forward to creating a large research office in discovering immortality for a human being to live till the age of 925 years … At this time, I believe that I must become the President of the United States of America, or something similar, to be able to effectively do this. I want human beings to survive, most certainly on earth, as a beautiful organism, in sync with all aliens also living in this zone of space, occuring in the dimension [of] Hell.

Clearly, he’s the man to support.

I originally thought the Ping should support Fred Cook, a retired school teacher with religious right wing affiliations that, in 2000 urged voters to “right [sic] in his name.” However, since he decided to attack Politics1.com for pointing this out (while at the same time stating that “I perfer [sic] the many volunteers who put forth their time and effort”), I’ve decided that my dream of voting for a retired teacher who can’t spell two syllable words will have to wait.

Calitri in 2004!

Posted in Politics

What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings