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June 6th, 2003

Sammy Sosa Did What Now?

I live in Chicago, as you may know, and I will tell you that the only story that has been on the news this week – the lead story – has been that Sammy Sosa corked his bat.

The coverage is amazing. There are stories suggesting that Sosa not be suspended at all, even though other bat-corkers were. There are stories telling us how to cork bats. Stories with physics professors telling us why corked bats work better (or could work better, in theory). Stories stating that Sosa is still the best; some suggesting he is the worst.

But by far I’ve enjoyed the catch phrases the most. In addition to “Say it ain’t Sosa”, which Jon Stewart lampooned on The Daily Show yesterday, my favorite is “Cork Gate”. Please, can we stop throwing the suffix “-gate” behind anything that happens? It’s stupid. Stupid. Watergate, okay. Maybe even Whitewatergate, since it has “Watergate” in it. But Cork Gate? Sheesh. They didn’t even spell it correctly.

Yes, I am a White Sox fan. Yes, I think Sosa should be suspended. Yes, I wish the story would go away.

Posted in In the News

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 10:17:55 am
My response when I heard about the Sosa story:


John Stewart's commentary on the "Say it Ain't Sosa" headline was excellent, though.

DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 10:24:24 am
I am with you Paul. I am tired of hearing this story already. There has to be more important, or yet, interesting news than Sammy out there. He corked the bat, He admitted to in. He isn't hiding the fact. Enough said!

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 12:15:05 pm
My favourite part of the coverage so far was some guy from CNN was in front of Wrigley, demonstrating how one could cork a bat.

Put the cork in, plugged it up, and took a practice swing. Problem is, when he took the practice swing, he didn't stand back far enough, and ended up getting the end of the camera, and subsequently, lost the feed.

Man, I wish I had been rolling film on that. I died laughing for several minutes.

FROM: Greg
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 2:33:06 pm
I can't believe the interrupted The Simpsons for the press conference! Didn't Sammy realize that if he corked his bat, I wasn't going to be able to see the end of The Simpsons!?!

FROM: jk
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 2:41:14 pm
Ahhhh, Fox. Couldn't they have just run the ticker at the bottom of the screen?

Why is it NOT ok to cork a bat, but it's ok to make and use golf balls that have non-bouncing properties? I just saw Jim Furyk advertising a new variety.

Extra points to any Pinger who knows who Furyk is.

FROM: Scott [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 3:08:31 pm
Pardon the interruption but I'm Michael Wilb....oops, wrong show.

Sammy was having a bad year, and either it was an accident, or he decided to give the corked bat a go for 1 whole game figuring it would be ok. I don't really care, all I know is that it's proven that corked bats only provide a marginal help to the distance a baseball will fly once hit. If Sammy had 40 home runs right now, rather than 6, or whatever he has, then I would say he should be in deep trouble. They scanned every other bat, past and present, and they were all ok. But oh no, he used it once, and that's "terrible".

But the media's desperate for controversy, and this is their chance to make an unfortunate sports situation look like the apocalypse. Baseball's reputation has been great in the last several years with Barry Bonds and McGwire (minus the whole steroid thing) and schmucks like that doing their home run thing, that it was just a matter of time before a beloved star did something marginally bad. It's not like he punched an umpire, or spit on a fan, offenses which are far worse than a corked bat ever should be. But yet, he'll probably get a longer suspension for something so inane and pointless than he would have received if he murdered someone. If THAT doesn't put sports into perspective, I don't know what does.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 4:05:13 pm
This non-story just proves how baseball will jump on anything to avoid acknowledging what a fucking boring sport it is.

FROM: towinlovinit
DATE: Friday June 6, 2003 -- 9:21:32 pm
yawn, I think it is time to change the channel to..... yea! cartoons

FROM: liz
DATE: Sunday June 8, 2003 -- 1:28:32 am
hehe, it was totally scandalous. but paul -- you're a sox fan?

don't tell peter. heheh.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Sunday June 8, 2003 -- 10:01:13 am
Yes, I'm a Sox fan. Jeani is a Cubs fan. And if you keep very quiet, you can hear everyone in Chicago saying, "oooooooh".

But we have an understanding.

FROM: Stevie Gee
DATE: Monday June 9, 2003 -- 2:09:42 pm
I find it interesting that all of the talk about Sammy corking his bat hasn't touched off another round of debate over whether Sammy's "corking" his body with performance enhancing drugs. Forget about x-raying his bats... they should be making him pee in a cup after every homer!

FROM: Ralph
DATE: Thursday June 12, 2003 -- 11:59:54 pm
Hey, guess what... I just found a new website... guess what it's called...

No kidding, check it out for yourselves

FROM: jk
DATE: Sunday June 15, 2003 -- 8:59:03 pm
Hey! Now you should all know who Jim Furyk is! Woo hoo!

FROM: sam
DATE: Wednesday April 5, 2006 -- 9:15:49 am
go sammy cork that bat some more

FROM: corky
DATE: Thursday June 1, 2006 -- 8:52:05 am
i wish that all baseball players used steroids, corked their bats, snorted coke right before every at bat, and took methanphetamines prior to every game.

can you imagine the amazing baseball games we would see? the humongous homers, the amazing flashing leather, ground balls that break the infielders hands, line drives that punch holes thru the outfield walls, pop ups that take 40 seconds to come back to earth.

outfielders vertically jumping 75 inches to rob home runs, infielders reaching those balls deep in the hole, spinning and firing long range bullets to first base, runners blazing down the line after a smash hit running faster than the ball can be thrown...."safe!". pitchers throwing 110 mile an hour fastballs that cant be seen by the tv cameras, but batters actually hitting these pitches out of the stadium.

how about that pumped up, hustling player coming around third base, heading for home with a full head of steam, and some guy with a steroid loaded canon whipping the ball home to the catcher, catcher so pumped with steroids he's like a rock wall........ball comes in on a direct line, perfect throw, catcher snatches ball and turns to block the plate, runner lowers his shoulder and plows into, who wins?
who cares? what a sight that would be.

what about the comebacker from the guy slugging .755% right at the pitchers head? pitcher amped up on speed and 'roids, can he get out of the way? does he snatch the ball from the air just before it crushes his lips?

i say lets equal the playing field. let everyone use them, (steroids), all of them, and then lets "play ball"! what a game it would be. what a game!

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