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Fred "Rerun" Barry once commented here.

July 18th, 2003

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Steals My Valve Stem Covers

Dear Sir,

Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I have.

I walk out to my car, and notice that – on occasion – two, or all four, of my valve stem covers are missing. I know they didn’t fall off, because I haven’t been over 65mph recently, and besides – they screw on. And besides, only two? I know you’ve got a bike, but geez, just take all four.

I know it’s you, stealing them. And I want you to stop.

Besides the fact that it’s stealing, and setting up a slight safety hazard for me, there is one other thing about valve stem covers that you might not know. They are cheap, you schmuck. I paid a whopping $3.00 for two sets last time. Why two? Because I knew that someone would steal the first set. Sure enough, someone (you) did. (Ninny.)

So here’s the deal. Go to AutoZone. The one three blocks from my house. Go buy some. And then, stop taking mine. I’m frugal with money, too, but not that frugal.

Much love,


Posted in Cars

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