The Daily Ping

Somehow, Ryan has written over 1 million Pings; Paul, just 60.

July 18th, 2003

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Steals My Valve Stem Covers

Dear Sir,

Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I have.

I walk out to my car, and notice that – on occasion – two, or all four, of my valve stem covers are missing. I know they didn’t fall off, because I haven’t been over 65mph recently, and besides – they screw on. And besides, only two? I know you’ve got a bike, but geez, just take all four.

I know it’s you, stealing them. And I want you to stop.

Besides the fact that it’s stealing, and setting up a slight safety hazard for me, there is one other thing about valve stem covers that you might not know. They are cheap, you schmuck. I paid a whopping $3.00 for two sets last time. Why two? Because I knew that someone would steal the first set. Sure enough, someone (you) did. (Ninny.)

So here’s the deal. Go to AutoZone. The one three blocks from my house. Go buy some. And then, stop taking mine. I’m frugal with money, too, but not that frugal.

Much love,


Posted in Cars

DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 8:49:43 am
I went out to my car the other morning to find I was missing the screw on aerial for the radio and also one (I repeat, ONE) wheel trim.
And how much did all this cost to replace?? About 40 (c.$65).
Thank heavens it was only the one wheel trim that went.

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 9:34:40 am
When I was in college, I had a P.O.S. car (Piece of s...) with no real value except it could get me around town. A week before I graduated (and sold it), someone actually stole the ANTENNA of the car..unscrewed it and everything.

That's pretty ghetto. Oh well. Didn't affect the resale value that much, since I barely paid anything for it, and got little back.

FROM: Chris
DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 9:40:28 am
Damn, you caught me. I've been taking a midnight flight into Midway and driving a rental car into your neighborhood to steal your valve stem covers. I then take a 6 AM flight back to DC and post early on the Ping, thus making it appear as though I never left DC and providing an alibi for myself.

I would have got away with it to, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

FROM: JulesLady
DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 11:03:39 am
I was taken pity on by a Scottish thief, they broke into my car, stole my speakers - really the only thing worth taking - and left making sure all the doors (even the one they broke) were securely locked.

FROM: jk
DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 5:29:20 pm
Coat them with honey! With super glue! Something that will leave them with a harmless yet sticky reminder that they are LOSERS. Or freak them out by posting notes that say "God sees EVERYTHING" where they cannot miss them.

My dad thinks I am nuts for locking my car when I visit them, but someone stole the lightbulbs out of their post can't feel safe anywhere.

Hey! I am ranting now: someone has been dumping their house trash behind my store, and they LEFT JUNK MAIL IN THE TRASH! Oh yeah, I know where they live now and so does the cop with whom I filed a report. I have literally driven by (and did NOT notice any trash cans) and contemplated taking some of the trash back to their front step. They can't even get the trash INTO my dumpsters....they have left it on the pavement. For me to clean up. Thanks.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday July 18, 2003 -- 7:07:48 pm
Instead of an open letter you should open fire.

FROM: Rob [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday July 19, 2003 -- 11:28:40 am
Wasn't this a Living Color song?

FROM: jk
DATE: Saturday July 19, 2003 -- 5:36:32 pm
I miss Living Color. Colour?

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday July 19, 2003 -- 11:50:50 pm
Colour. "Cult of Personality" forever. :)

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday July 20, 2003 -- 11:02:02 am
That was "An Open Letter to My Landlord."

FROM: Rob [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday July 20, 2003 -- 8:04:04 pm
Bah. I thought it was Colour, but then I looked around and too many places said Color. I should've gone with my instincts. :P

FROM: jk
DATE: Sunday July 20, 2003 -- 10:16:01 pm
From what I understand, Corey Glover is still playing...I think he still calls his band Living Color, but I believe the line-up has changed. I'd pay to see them co-headline a tour with General Public/English Beat members. I know, Living Color's "metal" sound and ska don't necessarily mix, but I bet they had a lot of mutual fans.

Sorry, I have a real gift for going way off-topic :o). That's what makes me "Special." (please, someone get that pun...)

FROM: jk
DATE: Sunday July 20, 2003 -- 10:17:18 pm
Amazon spells it "Colour."

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday July 20, 2003 -- 10:32:59 pm
Any ping "In Living Colour" is that much better.
...I ain't no Glamour Boy..I'm fierce!

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