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December 8th, 2003

Dude, I’m So Wasted

Here is a fun fact for you: I have never been drunk.

But I know that there have to be a few Pingers out there who have great, great drunken stories. (I think I know a few of them personally. They shall remain nameless. But they know who they are.) The big thing I want to know about getting drunk is, why’d you do it? Huh?

Posted in Everyday Life

FROM: elwood
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 2:00:52 am
i think i drink to forget. but i can't remember if that's true or not.

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 9:40:09 am
I quit drinking about 5 years ago, as alcoholism not only runs in my family, but I know I have the "thirst" for it, as well. However, when I did drink, I drank big, and occasionally paid for it.

The last time I got really hammered, I was in Toronto. In high school, I would travel with friends to go skiing, and occasionally do ski races. I had the race of my life that Saturday, and my main opponent crashed on his last run, somehow vaulting me into first place, and a nice cash prize.

I went out to celebrate that night with a couple of friends who traveled with me. The last thing I remember was the toast after the second drink.

The next morning, I started to wake up, and all I remember feel was cold. REALLY cold. I opened my eyes, and I noticed that I was moving. Apparently, I had drank so much I had passed out, so when morning time came, my friends wrapped me in several blankets, threw me in the back of my own pickup truck, and started driving. I didn't wake up until somewhere along the NE Extension of the PA Turnpike. It was there that I said "Maybe I have a drinking problem...". I really understated the obvious there.

The weird part that I can't figure out is how they got they got me into the country, with customs never noticing. I've lost sleep thinking about that one..

FROM: Mike [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 10:24:26 am
I'm not able to get drunk anymore. In college, mostly underage, I'd lose it from time to time, and I'd fall or puke or embarass myself somehow. Why? Because we'd be playing drinking games of some sort and have way too much to drink in a very short time, or be at a house party and would try to get our three dollars worth before the kegs kicked. And that was fine then...we had little responsibility, little accountability and could walk everywhere. Turning 21 killed the fun of really getting ripped for me.

Now 5+ years out of college, I'm too sleepy to get drunk. After a few drinks, I just want to go to sleep - not stay up and drink more. And now there is responsibility and accountability, and that's more important than getting hammer timed. I suppose I'm getting old.

FROM: Chris
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 11:18:56 am
I'm down to a couple of beers a week. I did the irresponsible drinking thing in high school and college - probably lucky nothing really bad ever happened to me.

FROM: Matt
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 5:07:21 pm
The most I've ever had to drink was two beverages in about a 5 hour period. Needless to say, I've never been drunk.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 6:02:33 pm
I've been drunk plenty of times in my life, but as a chronically responsible soul I've never thrown up from it or done anything I really regretted.

Drinking has gotten a lot less interesting to me in the past few years, but I'm not sure why. I all but gave it up about a month ago after babysitting a friend of mine who let himself get out of control, ultimately sneaking away from me to drive drunk. Needless to say, alcohol lost its luster that night.

FROM: jk
DATE: Monday December 8, 2003 -- 9:16:52 pm
Ugh, when I was pledging a my sorority (stop it! we were cool and nice and did not haze!!!), I drank rum and coke and then a few beers. I weigh less than your computer, so needless to say, I was hammered but somehow made it back to my dorm area. I went to see my friends in the guys' dorm ("Hey look! I'm drunk!") and my friend who was in Cry Baby (there's another Ping for you!) left me in his room with U2's War album playing. On vinyl. I laid on someone's bed and sang the whole album from start to finish and then went home.

Oh boy, my roommate Wendy got so drunk freshman year that she passed out outside our dorm in freezing temps and could have died. We had to call an ambulance to get her to the health center. You should have heard the story she told her dad when he got the bill! (food poisoning and everyone was worried about me daddy.....)

FROM: Elizabeth
DATE: Tuesday December 9, 2003 -- 4:03:23 am
All I can say is .. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *raises beer in frat boy manner*

I think one of the reasons people get so drunk is the social aspect in college and beyond. Everyone else is doing it. And it's (supposedly) really fun.

that's certainly why I drank in college.

traveling through europe was another big drinking time. For example the French are, in general, way more responsible about drinking. It is a huge social faux pas to become "wasted" in France, or to drive drunk for that matter. However, there are no such social stigma for 20 year old Americans youth-hostelling their way through Europe. You meet all kinds of people of various nationalities, and drinking is something fun and general to do. Kinda like going out for coffee, only it's worse for your body AND it causes your conversations to take many more turns for the dumber.

In w africa it's like a huge sin for a woman to be seen out drinking so I couldn't really do it there. And the local beer and palm wines were ... um.. highly disgusting.

Not that it mattered because after college drinking pretty much lost its appeal.

FROM: jk
DATE: Tuesday December 9, 2003 -- 8:59:03 pm
I agree....I can't even stand the smell of beer anymore. It makes me think of dirty fraternity floors. We drank it because it was free and we thought there was nothing else to do.

One night, Wendy and I did not go out (a Penn State first!) but stayed in to study; around 1am we went to McDonald's to watch the drunks and we were horrified. Embarrassed?

FROM: Marcus Mackey
DATE: Friday December 12, 2003 -- 9:00:57 am
I've been there... oh how I've been there. LoL

Craziest time was at my pal Mark's bachelor party. I still get tagged with jokes about that whole situation. Odd aspect though, I never passed out, I was alert although obviously a bit wacky, and when I did finally get back to his parent's house, rested for an hour or 2, talked to Mark for a bit, and headed home around 10am... I felt like I was reborn. Weirdest feeling I've ever known because I probably felt the best I'd felt in years. Probably the alcohol purifying my body by killing off germs and inpurities. LoL Was enough Captain Morgan and Parrot Bay spent there (note: don't ever drink rum after Guiness... bad mojo) to keep me from walking the plank anytime soon. Only time I've ever vomited from drinking... vowed to never do it again.

Worst incident was when I was supposed to attend another bachelor party, this time for an ex-gf's (still friends) future hubby. I ended up getting told to go to Goose Island bar, and ended up at the wrong one (one in Wrigleyville, not the one at the brewery). My pal Justin worked at Slugger's as a bouncer across the street, so I went over there when my party was unavailable at Goose Island (was a Northwestern reunion party, booked the whole bar, knew something odd was up). Ended up hanging out at Slugger's, got hammered... went with Justin on a few more rounds of some of the other area bars/clubs (Texas Roadhouse, amongst others), sobered up, went home, slept for 20 minutes... and woke up to go to the washroom... felt like I was run over by a car. Was greener than springtime grass. Didn't puke but that's the only time I've ever had a hangover. Definitely far from pleasant. I think I'd rather puked. LoL

Most fun time was up in Milwaukee when Mark was visiting his then gf Kathy. We all went up there while she was attending Marquette. Got there, late, and Kathy was already toast. Ended up playing this drinking game, and my pal Mark got hammered because even when he was winning he kept drinking. He got so hammered being as skinny as he is that from a period onward in the game, everytime he screwed up I ended up drinking for him because we didn't want him to drink himself sick. Needless to say, he screwed up quite a bit... LoL I was buzzing really good... but didn't get sick. That wasn't too long after I'd turned 21.

We ended up going bowling after the drinking games (a riot)... I almost beat 2 of Kathy's sober roommates drunk, Mark beat Kathy drunk (first time he'd ever beat her period at bowling) and he was wielding an 8 lb. ball that he was palming (fingers wouldn't fit in the holes)... and probably laid some nice divots in the hardwood everytime he threw the ball. He looked like a cross between Dr. Seuss' "Grinch" and a Stork/Crane trying to trek to the foul line. I'm pretty sure he and Tony crossed that line a # of times...

Got back to the dorm and Mark and my pal Tony both get out of the elevator and are crawling around on all 4's on the floor spinning in circles. We get back in the dorm, Mark makes a b-line for the washroom... unseen 'til the next day. LoL I napped on the loveseat, and Tony watched TV (drank the least of us). That was 'til we sobered up enough, and then it was about 5am and we were all hanging around goofing 'round.

Haven't drank anywhere near that much in awhile. Probably for the best. LoL

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday December 12, 2003 -- 9:30:11 am
jk --

Watching drunks can be a great source of entertainment.

When I was 20, I worked at a local pizzeria on Main Street in Newark, home of the University of Delaware. We were open till 2 (or so) on weekends, and I would run the take out counter. From about 12:00midnight till 2, it was nothing but drunk college kids with the munchies. By doing this shift, I learned several things:

1) Drunk college kids are easy to get money out of. Leave a tip cup on the counter, and you can make more than your entire weekly paycheck in two hours.

2) Drunk college chicks like guys who give them a free slice of pizza.....*ahem*

3) Tell drunk college kids the price for a slice of pizza is $10..they'll believe you.

Ok, I really didn't do #3, but I once had a guy give me a $50 bill for one slice of pizza, and when I gave him the correct change, he told me he only gave me a $5, and insisted that I gave him TOO MUCH. That's so nice of him....

FROM: Colin from Ohio
DATE: Saturday December 13, 2003 -- 1:32:08 pm
Yes, drunks are very fun to watch. The most entertaining stories that I've seen or heard involve:

1) One of my sister's drunk frields attempting to run up the side of an A-Frame house. I'll bet that felt nice in the morning...

2) One of my other frields getting wasted downtown and then walking past the police department, fire department, and courthouse, and then across the Williamstown Bridge without any trouble...

3) One of my relatives (who will remain nameless) getting one too many "Super Margaritas" in a Pittsburgh bar, and then ending up in the Pittsburgh Airport Hyatt.
The most entertaining part of this story is that his friends there gently escorted him from the bar, put him in their car, drove him to the Hyatt, and he apparently got out of the car while they were checking in, vomited, and somehow made his way onto the Pittsburgh Airport People Mover before they got him. I'm just curious as to what would have happened if he had made it further into the airport.
Oh, and I forgot to mention the busyness of the Hyatt, and the fact that his friends removed his vomit-covered clothes, and the fact that the only room that they could get was shared by two gay guys. That would have been a shock. Waking up with a hangover in your underwear in some hotel with two gay guys sleeping in the other bed. That's nightmare inducing material...

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday December 13, 2003 -- 4:55:59 pm
Waking up with a hangover in your underwear in some hotel with two gay guys sleeping in the other bed. That's nightmare inducing material...

Yes, if you're the insecure type.

One bit of drinking advice for everyone: Avoid whisky if you're going to do anything physically demands (like dancing) later. It'll leave you feeling dehydrated very quickly.

DATE: Tuesday December 30, 2003 -- 1:07:11 am

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