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December 10th, 2006

National Christmas Tree Association

I learned today (thanks to Sunday Morning) that there is a National Christmas Tree Association. The whole point of this association is to promote real Christmas trees over fake ones. They’ve got a FUDdy page about fake trees and – amazingly – a video game in which fake trees come to life. The game is really amazing: you need to pelt the “Freaky Fake Xmas Trees” with snowballs as they pop out of boxes labeled “100% Fake” and “Made in China”.

Why don’t we just come out and say that if you get an artificial tree, you’re with the terrorists?

In the game’s FAQs, too – remember this is a game for kids! – is this gem:

I can move the mouse but I can’t select anything or fire. How do I fix this?
If the program is frozen you will need to press Ctrl-Alt-Del. This will bring up the Task Manager, which will give you a list of all of the programs that are currently running. If the program is frozen it will probably have the text “Not Responding” beside it. Click on this program to highlight it, then select End Task. After a couple of seconds, the program should close.

Good job!

It’s amazing that this association exists – and that they’re prepping kids for life in the real world, with mutant trees and non-responsive Windows programs.

Posted in Consumer Commentary, Just Plain Odd

COD December 10, 2006, 4:19 pm

The NCTA is doing God’s work. Have you never seen Charlie Brown Christmas? Artificial trees are a communist plot. The 3 wise men placed their gifts for baby Jesus under a real tree – not a plastic one. When you buy fake trees you make Jesus cry.

If you want to pick on an association – these people should scare us all.

EnjoiEnt December 10, 2006, 5:40 pm

Wow that Christmas Tree association thing kinda mesmerized me.. Woah.

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