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December 11th, 2000

I Hate Slow Flow

When I was in college, our bathrooms has toilets with pressure so great that they could suck a small farm animal down with one flush. Unfortunately, though, “slow flow” toilets seem to have become the norm. As much as I consider myself an environmentalist, let me state for the record: slow flow toilets suck.

And you know, I’m not at all convinced that they’re better for the environment, either. The old toilets used (I believe) 1.5 gallons per flush, whereas the new toilets use about 1 gallon per flush. The difference is, the old toilets only took one flush (maximum two) to finish things off. Slow flow toilets can take up to five. The math just doesn’t add up. And I won’t even get into the issue of clogging.

I’ve been tempted more than once to go out and buy a Ferguson toilet for that “Man’s flush.” -ram

Posted in Toilets

FROM: Paul
DATE: Monday December 11, 2000 -- 7:18:04AM
I agree, Ry. I have used the (s)low flow toilets and they are just awful. I think the real solution is to bring in the "three seashells" system from the ultra-popular film Demolition Man.

I'm very thankful the john in my apartment isn't low-flow.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Monday December 11, 2000 -- 9:14:57AM
Sounds so much more appropriate as "slow flow" -- makes you wonder why they didn't actually use that name.

Haven't seen Demolition Man, but I can imagine the type of toilet that Stallone would need. :)

FROM: Old Fezziwig
DATE: Monday December 11, 2000 -- 9:30:51AM
I hate "slow flow" also. I like to hear a good strong whoooosh when I flush. With "slow flow", it's so disappointing because all you hear is the light trickle of water.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Monday December 11, 2000 -- 1:09:29PM
I think you're better off doing your dirty business in the sink. Just remember to take out the stopper.

FROM: Matt
DATE: Monday December 11, 2000 -- 3:36:38PM
If you were vegan you would be in the one-wipe posse.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Tuesday December 12, 2000 -- 12:41:18PM
"Slow in flow, let yourself go..." Soryr, I couldn't resist.

FROM: Billy Bob
DATE: Friday November 30, 2001 -- 9:02:18AM
You god damn gimp, WTF writes about a god damn fucking toilet flushing, get a life you sad little dick head

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Friday November 30, 2001 -- 10:35:34AM
I'd rather know what kind of gimp searches for information about a toilet.

Besides Matt Wilson, of course.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Friday November 30, 2001 -- 11:12:32AM
I thought Billy Bob Thornton had better things to do with his time than leave comments like that one.

FROM: Greg
DATE: Friday November 30, 2001 -- 12:53:23PM
I've got a 5 gallon gallon flusher at home. That thing will take down anything, even flipper the goldfish.

FROM: James
DATE: Thursday March 25, 2004 -- 1:00:19 am
How exactly did the three seashells work?

FROM: Luthien
DATE: Friday April 30, 2004 -- 11:06:14 pm
I was wondering the exact same thing!! Can anyone explain the 3 seashells, please?

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday May 1, 2004 -- 6:18:44 am
One for wiping, one for peeing in, and one for holding a snack and water bottle for those "extended sittings".

The movie never offered an explanation.

FROM: John
DATE: Friday May 21, 2004 -- 11:30:07 am
I think you passed your stool between them until the 'turd' sort of dissipated.

FROM: Crypto
DATE: Saturday July 3, 2004 -- 3:30:07 pm
they should've use leaches you can stick to your ass to suck off the residue

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