When you get to know a movie… or even when you don’t… you notice that the TV versions are extremely, extremely edited. As an added bonus, they’re often edited very very poorly.
Take, for instance, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off which aired two nights ago on the WB (egads). While you have the normal curse words changed to "heck" or "rear", there are two lines in particular that I love.
First, near the start of the film Ferris is talking about his pal Cameron. In the real version he says, "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond!" The edited version loses all meaning. "…Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal in his fist…" Now come on, who puts coal in their fists? (Also, don’t answer the obvious question about coal and asses.)
The second edit is just as entertaining. I originally thought it was obscene, but it wasn’t. Oops. The real version is, "You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.", in reference to Cameron’s love life. The edited version at least makes sense: "You can’t respect somebody who licks your boots…" Hm.
Please, share your favorite blatantly bad movie edits. -pm
Posted in Television, Movies, and Music