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April 11th, 2002

Schoolyard Marriages and Anti-Girl Spray

I think at one point or another, most of us have been married. Not necessarily the walk-down-the-aisle kind, but the kind where some fifth grader acts as the priest and declares Jimmy Lewis and Becky Taylor from Mrs. Stone’s fourth grade class as husband and wife. The ceremonies are usually pretty short, maybe five minutes, but they last nearly forever… until the end of afternoon math class.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the childhood equivalent to a restraining order: anti-girl spray (I don’t know if girls had boy spray or not). With this imaginary can of “icky girl” repellent, you could both keep them away and treat yourself in the case of accidental contact. At my school, there were several specific varieties of anti-girl spray that worked only with particular girls. The anti-Brenda spray was the most sought after. (Kids can be so mean.)

Did you ever get married during recess? Or were you busy being sprayed away?

Posted in Childhood Memories

FROM: Patrick
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 10:42:35 am

At my school we were a bit more 'technologically advanced' - we had shields that turned on simply by raising our thumbs. Two thumbs were needed in some cases. Unfortunately our shields did nothing for us once infected.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 11:24:52 am
Maybe we could invent some shields that had buttons for spray just in case infection set in...

FROM: Matt
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 12:08:01 pm
I never got married or had anti-girl spray. I did, however, laugh at the guys who used to play skip-it with the girls, and was fond of Smear The Queer.

FROM: Elizabeth
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 12:18:47 pm
Sounds offensive, Matt.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 1:25:04 pm
Smear the Queer was covered in the comment section of this favorite Ping.

FROM: Matt
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 1:37:31 pm
The only people who were ever offended was the guys who couldn't hang with the big boys.

FROM: fresh
DATE: Thursday April 11, 2002 -- 7:34:44 pm
i didnt know about gays when i was a kid, but smear the queer was a great game, all i had to protect my self from girls was circle circle dot dot now i have my cootie shot. dont you wish instead of anti girl repellant they had anti ghonnerhia repellant, could have used that last week with ryans mom. (this is to no way insult ryan or his mother, im sure she is a nice lady)

FROM: Matt
DATE: Friday April 12, 2002 -- 12:25:16 am
Fresh be stank this week.

FROM: fresh
DATE: Friday April 12, 2002 -- 8:53:30 pm
its true

FROM: Kitty Keenan
DATE: Wednesday June 11, 2003 -- 7:27:31 am
what the hell is this website about? e-mail me if you can explain i like queer

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