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April 11th, 2002

Schoolyard Marriages and Anti-Girl Spray

I think at one point or another, most of us have been married. Not necessarily the walk-down-the-aisle kind, but the kind where some fifth grader acts as the priest and declares Jimmy Lewis and Becky Taylor from Mrs. Stone’s fourth grade class as husband and wife. The ceremonies are usually pretty short, maybe five minutes, but they last nearly forever… until the end of afternoon math class.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the childhood equivalent to a restraining order: anti-girl spray (I don’t know if girls had boy spray or not). With this imaginary can of “icky girl” repellent, you could both keep them away and treat yourself in the case of accidental contact. At my school, there were several specific varieties of anti-girl spray that worked only with particular girls. The anti-Brenda spray was the most sought after. (Kids can be so mean.)

Did you ever get married during recess? Or were you busy being sprayed away?

Posted in Childhood Memories

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