The Daily Ping

The original Ping was painfully written in Perl.

May 1st, 2002

Free Pens

Something I realized about myself: if a company is offering a promotional item, I’ll take it. Sure, it increases their overhead and marketing will probably have to ask for a larger budget next year, but damn it, if there’s a cupful of pens with your company’s name on it, best believe I’m going to take one. We have plenty of use at home for pens that still have ink.

It’s sort of like free food. Today at work people were trying to unload boxes of cookies in the kitchen. You bet your booty that I grabbed at least one on each trip there to get water. It’s that whole “calories don’t count if you don’t know how many there are” thing.

I’ve realized, though, that I’m not the only one like this. If I was, there wouldn’t be the proliferation of “freebee” sites that there are. When I was offering free stickers at one of my other sites, the intention was to get loyal visitors to request some so they could help promote the site. Once the site was posted to one freebee site, though, another six picked up on it, and all of their cheap-ass visitors that want anything free being offered anywhere started e-mailing me asking for free stickers. One guy told me that he “loved my products and would love to promote them with the free stickers” despite the fact I don’t offer any products.

Where do you fall on the “If It’s Free, I’ll Take It” scale?

Looking for free pens?

If you want the hottest, coolest new pens with stars like Britney Speers, just fill out this form! ALL FIELDS ARE REQUIRED.




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Estimated IQ

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(All customers must have a checking account.)

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Posted in Everyday Life

FROM: Chris [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday May 1, 2002 -- 2:11:36 pm
I'm the exact opposite. I've already got way too much "stuff" in my life. If I need it I'll take it, otherwise I pass.

FROM: Paul [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday May 2, 2002 -- 8:34:30 am
I love free pens. A couple of my favorite pens were obtained, legally, for free.

The Container Store has the best simple pens and, last check, they had them at the ready, right by their registers.

FROM: dan [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday May 30, 2002 -- 7:30:52 am
free pens plaese

FROM: Big Fat Lizard
DATE: Friday June 14, 2002 -- 6:55:08 am
My wifes work gives away the free pens- I might take one or two - but - some people take a few boxes... most of the time - I won't bother unless the item is actually needed...

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Thursday June 20, 2002 -- 4:22:41 pm
Nothing anyone gives away free as a promotional item is something that you really need anyway. A free new car, that I could use. Computer? Bring it on. I did get a free teeny fm radio, with earbuds that I later saw for sale for like $6. That was pretty cool, although I still didn't need it. Of course, now you have to narrow what "free" is. I had to sign up for a credit card that I knew I wouldn't get anyway for the radio. You don't usually have to do anything for a pen. And samples really aren't free, that's distribution. I've confused myself. What was the question?

FROM: Cedrik Smudgle [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday June 24, 2002 -- 11:46:04 am
who in the world would really want to read several hundred pages of bullshit to get a free pen?
I say that you are taking up valuable space on the internet that maybe used for something more useful such as a hospital site or pornography. I therefore please ask you in the name of Quasimodo the lord of the incontinental flies please pleas get yuor site off the internet and stop wasting my time. Also as an optional extra your suicide would be most favourable.


Ps. please send me a free pen

FROM: renee
DATE: Friday July 5, 2002 -- 12:12:55 am
free pens puleeez! I love making notes with a fresh free writing instrument!

FROM: King Random
DATE: Sunday July 7, 2002 -- 9:51:51 pm
The only thing I get for free from work is pads of paper, about index card sized, that are made with the extra monogrammed paper from the office. They come out with boxes of them every week, and almost beg you to take them. They are very usefull for taking note and such, and absolutely free. I am not a big fan of pens though, myself prefering mechanical pencils. (.5 mm) And I have not yet heard of companies giving away free mechanical pencils. Oh well.

FROM: King Random
DATE: Sunday July 7, 2002 -- 9:55:13 pm
Oh, and Cedrik Smudgle-
If you don't like the site, don't go to it. There is plenty of porno on the internet already, and this site is a much better anyway. You and yours should stay away from sites that involve intellect to appreciate. Sorry to waste your time.

FROM: Carrie
DATE: Monday July 15, 2002 -- 3:03:42 pm
I love free pens! And I am the person who would take the whole box if I could. Can you send me some free pens?

FROM: Paul [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday July 15, 2002 -- 6:05:33 pm
Ping Heavy Industries is currently out of complimentary pens. Sorry.

DATE: Monday August 12, 2002 -- 7:42:17 am
im addicted to buying pens i love them give me MORE!

DATE: Monday August 19, 2002 -- 2:59:14 pm
i love freebies! LEGAL freebies that is. tell the dirtbags that want porn--quit wasting time and space . we don't need it. please send 2 pens.

DATE: Monday August 19, 2002 -- 4:24:54 pm

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Monday August 19, 2002 -- 5:27:03 pm
Sorry, David. At Ping Heavy Industries, we only have the same type of pen, not "differnt" types.

FROM: tiffany
DATE: Friday September 6, 2002 -- 7:05:24 am
Seriously, I want a pen. Preferably blue- Send the pen ungkay? Free shit is great especially if I can actually use it. What I hate is a tiny sample pack of lotion or shampoo that you can barely get one use out of. But a pen-it could last for a long time.

FROM: Crystal West
DATE: Wednesday September 25, 2002 -- 6:25:29 pm

FROM: Jami
DATE: Wednesday October 9, 2002 -- 11:05:01 am
I love free pens now if people would only give out free paper with them :(

FROM: Len Gillis
DATE: Thursday October 10, 2002 -- 12:46:55 am
Hi. Send me a free pen and I will tell all my 682 co-workers where to get one too. We use pens all day. Cool! and hey... Thanks bud!

FROM: Len Gillis
DATE: Thursday October 10, 2002 -- 12:47:59 am
oh by the way
My address is:
Len Gillis
130 Blahey Court, Timmins, Ontario Canada
P4N 8L9.... thanks again Bud!

FROM: patti2369
DATE: Thursday October 10, 2002 -- 8:42:14 pm
this site is prety cool, it's a neat idea, and brings such an insignificant thing to the surface, we all love free shit!!

FROM: Nadeem Ahmad Gill
DATE: Saturday October 12, 2002 -- 5:59:13 am
.Send me a good pen..I will tell everybody here ...i will take it if i like it

FROM: Dee Bruemmer [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday October 12, 2002 -- 11:28:02 pm
I would like to receive free pens please. Thanks :)

FROM: Cheryl Gibson
DATE: Sunday October 13, 2002 -- 6:35:07 pm
Hello I am a pen collector and would love to receive a pen my address is 108 Patuxent Mobile Estates Lothian, MD 20711

FROM: shields
DATE: Tuesday October 15, 2002 -- 11:34:49 am
you can never have too many pens

FROM: Ashley Amyx
DATE: Thursday October 17, 2002 -- 11:36:42 am
Hey! I love free pens.... I will use a pen I got for free before I will use one I already had... I really like the ones that come with our name on them, that way no one can steal the free pen that I got fair and square! Please send me a pen.... I will use it !!!!
7004 Johnny mercer Blvd. #1
Savannah, GA 31410

FROM: Amy Bagby
DATE: Wednesday October 23, 2002 -- 12:28:10 pm
I enjoy trying new products so a lot of times I will ask for a free sample before I buy.
Amy Baby
572 Nellie Head RD.
Tunnel Hill, GA 30755

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Wednesday October 23, 2002 -- 3:04:38 pm
This Ping is becoming a marketing department's dream...

DATE: Wednesday October 23, 2002 -- 3:48:30 pm

FROM: Kris Barrus
DATE: Thursday October 24, 2002 -- 2:14:18 am
I hear them calling my name, I'm not any type of klepto or thief at all. But damn those pens, they get me eveytime!! Send them all my way!! I actually alphabatize my children. Thanks!

FROM: Ruth McReynolds
DATE: Saturday November 2, 2002 -- 9:20:22 pm
I absolutely love pens especially FREE ones!! Please please please send me all the free pens you've gut!!
2502 east john cabot road, phoenix, az 85052

FROM: ari jones
DATE: Thursday November 7, 2002 -- 8:29:51 am
if it`s free i will have it!!!!!!!!! i pay for to much anyway so it`s good to get someting back

FROM: Brittney
DATE: Friday November 15, 2002 -- 7:31:00 pm
I like the kind of pen that I have to dip it into the ink.Pen pleaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeee

FROM: katie sheldon
DATE: Sunday November 17, 2002 -- 10:04:14 am
send me fre pens ppppppppllllllzzzzzz

FROM: regi nii aponsah [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday November 17, 2002 -- 12:46:43 pm

DATE: Tuesday November 19, 2002 -- 5:33:21 pm
Please send free pens!!!!

FROM: Rachelle Lamb
DATE: Friday November 22, 2002 -- 3:12:07 pm
I love free pens!!! Please send them my way!!!!!!!!!

FROM: vijay_kumar
DATE: Monday November 25, 2002 -- 5:35:57 am

FROM: Blake
DATE: Thursday December 12, 2002 -- 7:58:34 pm
I'm really upset. I wanted a free pen, and all I got was ridiculed for my attempt. It took a long time to figure out what my blood type was, and I got scratched several times when measuring my pet badger's stomach.

Here, let me post my home address so everyone who wants to kill pen-collectors can hunt me down easier. Perhaps then I'll make the news and I can start a revolution. POWER TO THE FREEBIE-SEEKERS! HELL NO, WE WON'T GO... WE'RE MAD AS HELL AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE... unless it's free.

Thank goodness my e-mail will be munged, 'cause I don't know what I'd do if someone could spam me or something. At least you don't have my IP address!


FROM: King Random
DATE: Friday December 13, 2002 -- 7:43:43 pm
This is great. I feel like I should request a pen, just for the fun of it. Then again, it might just make me look stupid. *directed cough*

FROM: Jamie A.K.A. Bob
DATE: Friday December 20, 2002 -- 3:58:18 am
If it's free, then why must I give my creditcard number.....huh....."oh honey, look, $3000 charged and I don't know where it came from..." damn you and your "free" pen!!!

FROM: Jamie (BOB again)
DATE: Friday December 20, 2002 -- 3:59:46 am
by the way can I have a free pen?

FROM: seth osei
DATE: Saturday December 21, 2002 -- 7:24:42 am
i want you to send me free pens every week

FROM: Mary
DATE: Wednesday January 22, 2003 -- 9:06:36 pm
That was a good one but I agree,you should send me a free pen for going through all this crapola!

FROM: bear
DATE: Wednesday May 21, 2003 -- 1:29:57 pm
You guys are a bunch of women, if you want the stupid free pen, just take it. If not just shutup.. don't post about your loser-isities. ( I made that word up myself! :D )

FROM: Paul
DATE: Wednesday May 21, 2003 -- 1:45:02 pm
You guys are a bunch of women

If that's your idea of an insult....

FROM: Super Ottawa
DATE: Tuesday July 1, 2003 -- 3:06:49 am
I love free pens, actually I collect pens, so I buy expensive ones too.
Enough 'bout tha penz.
Ya know wut i rilli luv......??!

Its when people online really don't know how to spell properly. Its one of my biggest peeves.
Or... when people don't talk in proper sentences ex. "Its no good for nothing, nothing's no good".
So , people pleeze learnt too spill preperly (unless you are like George from Texas....) ha ha .

DATE: Wednesday September 10, 2003 -- 5:08:53 pm

FROM: haha
DATE: Monday December 15, 2003 -- 8:36:45 pm
i dunt kno howe 2 spel proberlee, so shooot mee kuz i kant speel @ aal, ha haw, im an ideeot, haw hawe, ime soe stupeeeeeeeeeeed, hahahwe, ce yahz homeeeez, luve yahzzz, a tungz

FROM: dennis
DATE: Friday February 27, 2004 -- 10:08:40 am
i need free pens and t shirt

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday February 27, 2004 -- 7:14:31 pm
...and a brain.

DATE: Friday February 27, 2004 -- 10:37:45 pm

FROM: Eat shit
DATE: Friday February 27, 2004 -- 10:39:31 pm
even if i thought this was free i would have to be mentally retarded to put my credit card number in for something free

FROM: yahya suraka
DATE: Sunday March 7, 2004 -- 12:48:16 pm

FROM: yahya suraka
DATE: Sunday March 7, 2004 -- 12:54:22 pm

DATE: Wednesday May 19, 2004 -- 2:58:53 pm
am I going to get a free pen???

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday May 20, 2004 -- 12:45:07 pm
Try putting in your credit card a few more times..that should do the trick.

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Thursday May 20, 2004 -- 12:51:09 pm
One pen please.

DATE: Thursday July 22, 2004 -- 3:03:53 pm

FROM: Libo Zhou [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday August 3, 2004 -- 8:51:01 pm

FROM: Meepit
DATE: Wednesday August 18, 2004 -- 1:30:31 pm
How about not

FROM: Nameless
DATE: Wednesday August 18, 2004 -- 1:38:05 pm
No! No! No! No! No!
Who in the world is crazy enough to actually give out their credit card number?! What is the world coming to? By the way, does anyone know Minimoose?

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday August 18, 2004 -- 10:20:15 pm
Funny story at today:

Nine out of ten office workers will give up their passwords in exchange for a free pen.

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday August 18, 2004 -- 10:20:15 pm
Funny story at today:

Nine out of ten office workers will give up their passwords in exchange for a free pen.

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Wednesday March 16, 2005 -- 5:31:54 pm
Dave Walls is double posting again.

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday March 16, 2005 -- 6:28:45 pm
Joseph -- I'm loving your references to old Pings. You've got a better memory than me for these things...

FROM: Pen Master
DATE: Thursday March 17, 2005 -- 9:41:03 am
so where the hell's my Britney Spears pen?

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday March 24, 2005 -- 6:47:00 pm
Wow...even I had forgotten about that. Nicely done. ;p

Now if I can just figure out how to stop double posting, I'll be ok. ;p

Even if I can't, it's better than the retard comment spam right above me. ;p

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday March 28, 2005 -- 9:05:19 am
The Ping is my life.

FROM: kofi obeng
DATE: Saturday June 4, 2005 -- 10:25:16 am

FROM: neil johhannson
DATE: Friday September 30, 2005 -- 2:54:22 pm
i like ping it keeps me happy

FROM: Jayson
DATE: Wednesday October 12, 2005 -- 9:34:27 am
Why are u sayin there free then askin for my credit card details?????

FROM: Sammy Reed
DATE: Wednesday October 12, 2005 -- 12:43:03 pm
After all this time of being tempted to and putting it off, I thought I'd FINALLY get it off my back and put in a humorous "entry" of my own.

I know I'm not getting a free pen, but I did get something out of the way.

FROM: Kelly Grant
DATE: Monday November 14, 2005 -- 12:43:31 am

DATE: Thursday November 17, 2005 -- 4:19:51 am

FROM: wendy finkle
DATE: Sunday January 8, 2006 -- 1:23:25 am
i think that most of the stuff everyone is saying here is most hilarious!!! but i have to agree with one guy, when he said that it was a waste of time to make someone fill out a "survey" and even ask for their credit card number, when they fully intended NOT to supply anything (isnt that illegal????) anyway, its kinda funny, and true, and most everyone knows it... some people have these really weird obsessions with pens... thats why when you borrow someones pen... you forget to give it back.. its like gold.. why else would you walk away with something so useless, right? anyway, i am one of those people... i love pens... and am quite disapointed that i have wasted my time filling out a stupid survey, that was implying it had something to offer, and supplied nothing at all... so, i must conclude with this. to those who wrote this stupid survey, who wasted everyones time by doing it... i hope that i wasted your precious time that you could have been using to come up with another useless survey, by reading this!! have a nice day

FROM: Paul
DATE: Sunday January 8, 2006 -- 5:09:50 pm
isnt [sic] that illegal????


FROM: Aaron [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday March 25, 2006 -- 2:12:40 pm
I love free pens. As a starving, entry-level producer in the radio industry, I try to get as many "free" things as possible! These large corporations make TONS of money off us little "guys"( ok, you too gals, to be politically correct I guess LOL)

I always ask if I can take one or two though. Banks, dr offices, restaurants, insurance agents office, etc, etc. If they say no, then its no, thats fine. But the fact is, 99% of these places WANT you to take a pen or two, otherwise they wouldn't have budgeted ANY promotional advertising at all! And, after all, they want you to remember their business when you go to write a check at the grocery store or something, right? Makes sense to me.

I am also a waiter at Buffalo Wild Wings in Savage MN.

Would anybody be interested in swapping a pen or two with me. Email me at if you are. I have some cool pharmacutical pens like "Lexapro, and so on I could swap with you! Let me know.

Thanks fellow pen lovers!

DATE: Saturday March 25, 2006 -- 2:20:31 pm
Wow! its amazing that someone actually had the time TO WASTE of this meaninal BULLSHIT! Get a life, or a job, damn! People are dying for our country and then there are lowlifes that just want your credit card # and all that other crap to "prove a point" . What a crock!!!!!!!

FROM: Paul
DATE: Saturday March 25, 2006 -- 4:00:49 pm
Wow! its amazing that someone actually had the time TO WASTE of this meaninal BULLSHIT! Get a life, or a job, damn! People are dying for our country and then there are lowlifes that just want your credit card # and all that other crap to "prove a point" . What a crock!!!!!!!

You've proven my point in spades. Thanks.

FROM: awudu issifu [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday April 2, 2006 -- 2:47:56 pm
plz send me some of your iterms.

DATE: Friday April 21, 2006 -- 8:21:47 am
Umm, interesting. is this power of a free pen? Now, question is - would you open an bank account if you get a free pen? I came to this site in search of "an effect of offering a free pen at bank" :D. hey guys, why do you think banks/businesses offer a free pen?

BTW, someone said never seen any business offers mechanical pencil but I've got a cool free mechanical pencil offered by a Japanese bank (Dai-ichi Kangyo Bank) and a few others. Coolest free pen I've got is flasing light one when I write, it still flashes after those 5 years.

I haven't bought pens for ages... Now I want free "green ink" pens, why everybody offer only blue and black ink pens!

FROM: Suzanne Lanoue [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday June 1, 2006 -- 12:34:09 am
I love free stuff because I am a packrat. I collect lots of "junk" like pens, business cards, swizzle sticks, etc. If you have any free pens you are not using (they don't have to have any ink), I would be happy to take them off your hands and pay for postage. Not just plain ones but any that have a company's name, or a saying, or are strange shapes.

My address is: Suzanne Lanoue P.O. Box 865201, Tuscaloosa, AL 35486-0047
and you can view my collections at

take care!

FROM: nikki
DATE: Saturday July 8, 2006 -- 4:11:47 pm
no free pens that sucks i love pens...only fun off the wall ones you should make some and give them out i might just come around more often...oh and it must be blue ink or well i wont comeback at all.

just joking you guys rock....... will you make a poison pen....not toxic....but the band poison for all of you going whaaaa?

Curious March 4, 2007, 2:42 am

Why are they asking for a credit card number if it is suppose to be “FREE”?

Ryan March 4, 2007, 4:50 am

Some people in this world are irony-impaired, it seems.

Lori September 28, 2007, 10:54 am

Brittney Spears?

As if. I already have lots of free pens and none of them force me to look at celebrities…..

How did you know I was Vulcan?

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