The Daily Ping

Apple did not consult with us when they named Ping, Ping.

October 6th, 2002

Premium Potty

Say you’re driving along, and the urge hits you. You know the one. That one. That one that isn’t going to go away. You need a bathroom now, so you start looking around while driving. Aha! A gas station! Eh… but those are usually very dirty, and the building is a bit small, so there might not even be one.

McDonald’s? Eh, usually dirty. Target? Maybe. But too much of a hassle to find parking. What you need is a bathroom facility that’s guaranteed to be spotless, sanitary, and – as a bonus – pamper the heck out of you. All for just one dollar: the Premium Potty.

You find this (fictional) Premium Potty. You pull in to one of the many handy parking spaces, and are greeted as the doorman opens the front door for you. A receptionist takes your dollar, and hands you the keys to your own private bathroom. You race down the hall (still fighting the urge, mind you) and enter your bathroom; you instantly feel like you’ve stepped into a five-star hotel. The bathroom is clean, well-sized, a fine temperature, and ready to go. You enjoy your time there (including the bidet!) and, thus, tell your friends about this great bathroom that’s available for just one dollar.

The only obstacle I can see for the Premium Potty chain? Paying for a bathroom is a foreign concept to Americans (pun definitely intended.) Europeans are used to this. I figure, though, that if people know – beyond any doubt – that the bathroom they will enter will be clean, sparkling, and upscale… a dollar is a fair price. Of course, you can always use that dirty, stinky gas station bathroom.

You get what you pay for. Premium Potty is an idea whose time has come.

Posted in Miscellaneous

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