The Daily Ping

Women make wilk, big whop!

May 18th, 2003

A Condensed History of Weezer

1994: “Wow! Here’s a great pop disc, with all sorts of great melodies – and the vocals are great, too! This is great power pop! Great!”

1995: “Ha ha, ‘Buddy Holly’ has a great video and the Fonz is in it! Plus it comes with my copy of Windows 95! Maybe we’ll watch videos on our computer some day!”

1996: “Gee, this Pinkerton isn’t as good as the first one. It’s kind of catchy at times. The lyrics are dark. Gee. I can’t dance as easily to it. I can’t blast it from my car speakers. That’s a bummer. Oh, ‘Pink Triangle’, I get it. Heh.”

1997-2000: “Weezer? They were that band I kind of liked back in ’94. Gosh, you know, that first disc was great! The second one grew on me! It’s great too!”

2001: “Hahah, Weezer are back! What? The album‘s only 28 minutes long? What the hell? Five years and all we get is half an hour’s worth of music? Well, at least they’re parodying heavy metal with that winged ‘W’ logo! Haha, they’ve still got it! Go Weezer! Go emo!”

2002: “Oh, wait. What? Another Weezer album? This one, hm. It’s lacking something. It’s Maladroit, and it’s okay. I guess. But what? That winged ‘W’ logo is for real now, not a parody? What the hell – pyrotechnics? Weezer isn’t metal! It’s emoooo! Emooo! Well, at least the music is go… er, wait, this isn’t much better than Van Halen, whose logo they were parodying! What the hell? Where’s that first album? Where’s ‘Buddy Holly’? This sucks.”

2003: “Hey, look! The Daily Ping is dissing Weezer! Let’s post 50 comments with bad spelling and punctuation and tell them how Weezer’s ‘still got it’, even though it’s just an opinion! And when they delete my stupid comment, I’ll whine about ‘free speech’! Hahah, Weezer would do it!”

2019: “What’s this? Oh my god, ‘Buddy Holly’! I remember this song from my childhood. Gosh. Too bad it costs $5.00 to listen to every song on the radio now. I’m hungry. I’m going to order a pizza. What? $40.00? That’s insane! So cheap!”

2050: “Weezer in the rock and roll hall of fame? It’s so overdue! They left a permanent mark on pop culture! That’s why I wear this thing called a ‘sweater’….”

Posted in Television, Movies, and Music

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