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July 2nd, 2005

The Dumbest Spam I Ever Received III

The first one was dumb. The second one was dumber.

But a couple of days ago I received an email with the subject line – I kid you not – Christian Home Loans. Christian ones! I guess they’re not in with that whole “fair housing” thing.

Moreover I wonder if this is some sort of sanctioning process – like Kosher food. Does God approve of these loans? If so, can you imagine the application process? “Which Ten Commandments have you broken? (circle all)”

Posted in Technology

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 10:46:18 am
How can we judge without the text of the spam?

FROM: snaily
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 12:01:54 pm
what, do people think if they get a christian home loan it will be less sinful or something? we should get together and start a snail-lovers home loan company. i love snails:-)

FROM: David July [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 1:43:34 pm
Here is my all-time favourite.

gmi tece ifir
aidonwe mbnpybg
juxsuoi iatro
lmnkto widn
i errtso go k
afl nidmov uarllc wapndhd zedogne bahhavr u akpivue wtohpod ultowsb chb nobdwes ophewou ghbpiso eo
injsdad hagracb paygifu rtfi sixtcia fow
filovin em
io epu
polglau etyo s on p nbod y tiq r uche d ys
debnauf d ageisji wnl
junnda nsh
a uebloy wi shu r veygpl tueesmo sinnzey

FROM: Merle [E-Mail]
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 3:40:31 pm
Hmm. Wasn't there something about usury being evil and/or a sin?

So maybe they're offering interest-free loans. Now that I would be interested in.

FROM: snaily
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 4:42:59 pm
hey i just got some new spam mail titled "That fill no crimplene fount" for allergy medicine.

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Saturday July 2, 2005 -- 5:49:26 pm
I can hear the slogan already:

"Be saved from high interest."

ba-dump-pah! (cymbal strike)

"Other home loans can be hell."

ba-dump-pah! (cymbal strike)

"Resurrect your finances with a Christian home loan!"

ba-dump-pah! (cymbal strike)

"Our rates are heavenly."

(drum roll) ba-dump-pah! (cymbal strike)

FROM: Monica
DATE: Sunday July 3, 2005 -- 4:36:06 pm
ick for targeting religion (and not a rigidly defined one, either--do they mean the original meaning of Christian, or the other, appropriated meaning?) but at least it's funny too! An officemate got a spam saying "I saw you in church... and I liked what I saw!" :-D
Any male enhancement or porn spams going in this direction? that would be funny!
does the loan protect against repossession?

FROM: Merle [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday July 3, 2005 -- 7:53:17 pm
Monica: that's a great idea! Just think: "get a loan from us, and if they even think about reposessing, He'll get all old testament on them!".

Of course, it still won't protect you against eminent domain.

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