You know those lame faux-talk show paid TV ads, right? That guy Kevin Tredeau is on about 75% of them. On the other 25% is a super, super creepy guy whose name I don’t know, but he looks like Satan.
One of Satan’s ads was on this morning when I turned on the TV. He was hawking some random cure and he talked about how it would “greatly improve length and girth.” But, no, he wasn’t talking about something specific to male anatomy.
He was talking about poop.
His product was some sort of colon cleanser that can, apparently, improve the size and mass of “what you see in the toilet.”
I wretched, changed the channel, and continued eating my fiber-filled breakfast.