Mean Nicknames

FROM: Maria
DATE: Saturday January 27, 2001 -- 2:40:12AM

Preschool: Maria Diarrhea--only because it rhymes, not because I had it!

FROM: Paul
DATE: Saturday January 27, 2001 -- 10:20:37AM

Maria, that's way too much information.

FROM: Rob
DATE: Saturday January 27, 2001 -- 12:55:37PM

Once kids learned what my last name meant (either by happening upon it in the dictionary or through the magic of vocabulary tests), I'd constantly have kids coming up to me, asking me if I knew that craven meant coward.

And, of course, there's all SORTS of things you can do with Rob.

Yay.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Saturday January 27, 2001 -- 3:29:36PM

I remember calling this one kid up the street "It" because we thought he was not worth being male or female. It was cruel, but he deserved it. Besides, I was on the receiving end of this kind of treatment more often than I dished it out.

FROM: Tony
DATE: Saturday January 27, 2001 -- 11:03:00PM

I was called Toby in 4th grade....but Im not sure how it was mean.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 1:03:24AM

If you ever get tired of being Laze, we could call you Ryan "Mongo" MacMichael. You'd need a Haliburton, though.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 1:20:19AM

Mongo... I was so happy when I heard that a wrestler had my last name! Too bad he was so lame...

FROM: Robert
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 9:37:30AM

"Lame" is too kind a word for Mongo. He stole his name from a character in Blazing Saddles.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 10:52:14AM

A wrestler? Excuse me, Mongo was a Chicago Bear long before he became a wrestler. Ahem.

FROM: Robert
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 12:53:19PM

But he did not carry a Haliburton as a Bear, and that makes all the difference.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Sunday January 28, 2001 -- 1:42:41PM

Yes, Paul, but we all know that wrestling is more important than football.

:)

FROM: robert
DATE: Sunday May 27, 2001 -- 5:24:34PM

robert to me and my friends means "poodle" bceause my friend robert had a huge afro and actually looks like the dog "poodle"

FROM: Chiara
DATE: Sunday May 27, 2001 -- 5:29:52PM

hi my name is chiara and my friends call me Kia. THey also call me ki.
and one of my friends line about my name is "did i loose my keys to my kia"?
it goes something like that.

FROM: Megan
DATE: Wednesday December 25, 2002 -- 5:46:34 pm

I was always called Cheesy or Cheeseball or something to make my day miserable, because my last name is Marchese so kids thought it looked like Marcheesey.

FROM: Turd Fergeson
DATE: Monday May 19, 2003 -- 3:52:11 pm

You think you had it bad. I was called Turd Fergeson!

FROM: Rick L
DATE: Monday May 19, 2003 -- 5:37:16 pm

I was called "Darkman" for a number of years. It's cuz I used it as a pen name when I went through a phase and wrote some very dark twisted poetry that circulated around the school. FYI- it was before that crappy movie with Liam Neeson.


Rick

FROM: kimon
DATE: Monday June 2, 2003 -- 3:11:03 pm

i was called DIABLO, cause when i wrestled, i was a dark and evil character....

i was also called hibiscus, cause ppl thought i smoked it.i didn't deny it.lol.

FROM: Emily
DATE: Sunday August 15, 2004 -- 5:10:43 pm

Max the Maxi Pad.

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday August 16, 2004 -- 12:41:42 pm

There's a "Spaz" in every gradeschool classroom across America. This is the kid who is short-tempered and yells and screams to get kids to stop bothering him. Ironically, it's the cry for help that keeps kids coming back. Eventually, merely saying spaz is enough to get this kid to blow his top. I was not the spaz of my class.

There was a kid in my class who had very unkempt hair. It was black and curly and long. Everyone called him "Fro." He hated it. He also happened to be our Spaz. Usually taunts directed at him would alternate between "Fro" and "Spaz" until he blew up. Once he blew up, he'd get sent to the principal's office where he'd get spanked. I thought it was terrible then and now. But, things being the way they are, and the fickly nature of kids' subjects of abuse, I was glad it was not me--I had my own problems.

These days, he would have just brought a gun in and shot us all.

I was overweight around middle school age. This one kid, who had a thing against fat people, used to call me "Hubba-Blubba" after the chewing gum Hubba Bubba. He changed another chubby kid's name to "Lachunky," which sort of sounded like the chubby kid's real last name. The kid with the thing against fat people's nickname was "Dorito-Man" because he always had Doritos in his lunch. Ultimate revenge: I trimmed down by high school and I saw him one time during that time (he went to a different high school) and he was friggin' fat. I got to call him Hubba Blubba to see how he liked it; he didn't so much. By then, he had also begun to go down the path of dope smokin' loser. Later, after I graduated from college, I went to a cheapo breakfast cafe with my parents (my dad will do anything for a plate of $1.99 eggs with bacon) and Dorito-Man was the short-order cook. I felt vindicated at the ultimate station this bully achieved in life. I heard later he got some fat girl pregnant. Maybe he was afraid of fat people because becoming fat was his biggest fear. Maybe he knew he was destined for porkiness.
There was another kid, whose last name was Bates--of course, his nickname was Master; another kid, whose last name was Wheeler was called "Feeler" because he seemed effeminate. The last nickmame worth mentioning belonged to the smelly girl in class. For whatever reason, someone hatched "Stink O' the Sea" for her.

FROM: Kate
DATE: Monday August 16, 2004 -- 5:17:05 pm

I had a friend that called me "Small Fry" for a time... but that suddenly stopped when I started calling her "Whopper." Hmm.

The only kid I knew that had a mean nickname was Bio Billy... but he actually turned out to be bisexual, so maybe it wasn't too trumatizing.

FROM: Tracie Martin
DATE: Wednesday October 6, 2004 -- 9:16:19 pm

I was called Beast and Cousin It

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Thursday October 7, 2004 -- 9:20:23 am

Robert,

What is a Haliburton, besides being a county somewhere or a huge government sucking corporation? I found no definition of haliburton at either dictionary.com or
google.

Am I missing something here?

FROM: AC
DATE: Thursday October 7, 2004 -- 12:29:04 pm

I was "Zeb" for a long, long time (short for ye ole last name). Not bad, kinda like it actually.

I moved mid-high school, and met two kids in my business class who never got past their kindergarten nicknames of "Tater" and "Pickle".

The really funny thing was that Tater and Pickle were best of friends. My theory was because the bonds of their odd nicknames.

FROM: MeganMae
DATE: Wednesday February 9, 2005 -- 10:59:52 pm

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER READ!! Oh my God, you people must be retarded....

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday February 9, 2005 -- 11:05:06 pm

MeganMae is a BegginGay!

(Trying to stay on topic...)

FROM: baby101gurl88
DATE: Monday March 21, 2005 -- 5:35:21 pm

im STILL called shorty & babygurl pplz...so dont feel bad if yall have SOME sort of nicknames

FROM: heather
DATE: Tuesday March 22, 2005 -- 9:47:49 am

Growing up my sister and I had perms. We didn't look funny with them or anything, but we did get some "mean" nicknames. The Souix Indian kids we went to school with in ND called us "Popcorn Heads" (they were just jeaolous that we had the blond hair) then in 4th grade, the kids in VA called us "Twisted Sister"

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Tuesday March 22, 2005 -- 10:24:10 am

MeganMae eat my shorts.

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Tuesday March 22, 2005 -- 10:28:34 am

MeganMae Smellunderwear!

MeganMae Dookie!

(Also trying to stay on topic.)

Of course, now we'd just call MeganMae "dookie" for short. I hereby Christen MeganMea as "dookie" from now on, in honor of this Ping.

FROM: hannah litvin [E-Mail]
DATE: Tuesday May 3, 2005 -- 1:09:24 pm

i knew a really fat smelly girl named libbi and people called her "the view obstructor"... one of my friends is general washington, becuase he looks exactly like george washington from the neck up!

FROM: Shortie
DATE: Tuesday July 26, 2005 -- 9:11:01 am

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING BOUT PEOPLE YOU F***ING FREAKS GET A LIFE PEOPLE

FROM: dere
DATE: Tuesday July 26, 2005 -- 4:27:02 pm

My nickname has been PHIMOS for a really long time. I christened myself as PHIMOS so i like it, mainly cuz no1 knos wat it means. So i'll tell every1 now. It is ancient Greek for "foreskin". Anyone that finds that offensive, i say to to u, lick my PHIMOS.

FROM: Carolyn
DATE: Thursday August 4, 2005 -- 2:13:27 am

Thanks for the subject. I'm writing a book and needed some ideas for nicknames. Great ones! Some of mine growing up where LightBulb, Skinny Bones and Dude (from my dad...he wanted a boy. :)

FROM: dere is gay
DATE: Thursday August 25, 2005 -- 1:07:18 pm

phimos is possibly the gayest nickname i've ever heard that someone "christened" upon themselfs. what kind of sick fetish do you have "Dere" (Derek) to nickname yourself "foreskin"? If it's because you're not circumsized it's more understandable, but i mean come on, do you think you're cool because you're quote unquote nickname is ancient greek? plus, you can't just make up a nickname for yourself, that's not a nickname, some has to do it for you. So since you obviously want a nickname so bad i'll give you one: "Fuckface". That seems to suit your personality a little better...

FROM: candice
DATE: Wednesday October 19, 2005 -- 11:23:57 am

I was called cannabis which is another name for pot. that was when i was in elementary school.

FROM: None
DATE: Thursday October 20, 2005 -- 4:55:43 pm

My nickname was phimos too. don't dare admit it now though....

And I'm a girl!

FROM: mel
DATE: Friday January 27, 2006 -- 1:24:53 pm

"do you think you're cool because you're quote unquote nickname is ancient greek"

Besides the obvious misuse of the word "you're", how can you not love someone who actually types out the words "quote unquote"?

FROM: rangin
DATE: Sunday May 21, 2006 -- 9:34:54 am

Better check ur Greek dictionary Dere. I thought Phimos means "muzzle" as in "dog"

FROM: KLP
DATE: Monday May 29, 2006 -- 4:03:32 am

im laughing LOL umm yeah im writin a story too and i needed to find a mean nickname for this guy (whos gonna turn out like the devil cos i want him to have 6 letter name 6 letter middle name then 6 letter last name. then at the end ... u know he cxna admit to that. anyways i found these entries v v funny lol.. i especially liked this from kate : "I had a friend that called me "Small Fry" for a time... but that suddenly stopped when I started calling her "Whopper." Hmm. " LOL anyway i gtg dinner (and i havent even STARTED my homework novel LOL)

FROM: peepee potty deedee dotty
DATE: Wednesday June 14, 2006 -- 8:27:31 am

GAY BOOBS SUK MILK SEX FUK WEENER PUSSY YUMMY ORGASM? YES

FROM: Brittany
DATE: Wednesday June 14, 2006 -- 11:46:49 am

people used to call wet pet because get me wet ;)