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March 25th, 2001

Poor Wrestling Gimmicks

The rumored gimmick battle royal at Wrestlemania next week will be amazing if it comes off, attracting the attention of anyone who’s had even a passing interest in professional wrestling over the past 20 years. Imagine a current match featuring Sgt. Slaughter, “PS” Michael Hayes, the Iron Shiek, Nikolai Volkoff, the Gobbeldy Gooker, The Bushwackers, and Doink the Clown. It might not be a spotfest or a non-stop brawl, but the nostalgia factor would be incredible.

As I was watching one of my many old WWF tapes tonight, I was reminded of one incredibly bad wrestler gimmick: Tugboat. This large man was marketed as being big as a Tugboat and they stuck him in a striped sailor’s outfit. I understand that the fantasy element of old-school wrestling had its place, but man was this a weak gimmick.

Sure this might not be as big of news as the WWF purchasing WCW, but it makes for just as interesting of a discussion. So come on out, you closet (and out-of-the-closet) wrestling fans… what wrestling gimmicks were the lamest of all-time? (Matt, I expect an essay from you!) -ram

Posted in Miscellaneous

ben canary June 5, 2007, 4:50 pm

Giant Machine…….Andre

Skinner…..croc hunter

Did Tito Santana ever wrestle Mantaur when he was the elmatador?

Dude Love…

Roadblock rochester!

joseph gonzalez July 9, 2007, 12:45 pm

Here are my worst gimmicks ever. wcw beat the crap out of the wwf/wwe when it came to bad gimmicks. The only thing they did better than the wwf/wwe lol. They are:

.Gobbly gooker probibly the biggest what the f**k were you thinking moment in wrestling hystory ! Poor hector gurerro

.Dan arquette as a wrestler: arguibly the second or third biggest what the f**k moment were you thinking moment in wrestling history (Vince getting car bombed is one or two). Worst champion ever. At least vince had carisma

.Mantaur a guy in a bulls mask, why ?????

.Repo man

.Tug boat: this one was bad but he managed to do one even worse and it was….

. THE SHOCKMASTER LOL ARE YOU KIDDING ME !!!! This guy wore a cape and had a spray painted storm tropper helmet. After the falling through the wall incident the helmet fell off of and it was the one and only tug boat from his wwf days that same night he had the nerve to talk to his opponets and try to make himself seem tough, again are you kidding me ?

.The ring master: in his biography he said that before he became stone cold steve austin vince was thinking about naming him the ice dagger true story lol

.repo man

.Duke the dumpster: thank god jerry lawler ended that mistake

. The yetti: this guy looked like he was wrapped up in tissue paper.that match with hogan when he tried to bear hug him but it made it seemed like he was humping him gave me nightmares for a week

.issac yakeem lol

.fake diessel and razor

.billy and chuck: they should go back in time and fight the hollywood blonds, that would be the gayest match in hystory. This would be a funny match.

.Mr america: what was hogan thinking

.The oddities

.mr boring lance storm

.The good doink the clown

.aracnoman: why did wcw make a fake spiderman that tried to pass of that silly string he shot out of his arms as webs lol !
.Max moon: he came with a jet pack

.giant gonzalez

.alex wright: just pure gayness

.glashier: fake sub zero. This guy just sucked period

.the tag team the american males: add these two with billy and chuck and the hollywood blondes and have a triple threat match

.gi bro: poor booker t. He must have stolen the bosses lunch or something and they punnished him by doing this.

.big poppa pump scott stinner: this guy could barley move around the ring

Sorry if this list is so long by the way

.the real mans man william regal

.the ding dongs

.the head bangers

.the baiston booger lol just plain afull

.forooq when he had that goffey head gear

.disco inferno: him dancing with alex wright and that japanesse guy was funny

.THE GOON ! They painted his boots to make it seem like he had on ice skates lol

.haku, fatu … damm rakishi had a lot of crappy gimmicks

.al snow with head: that manikan head he carried creeped me out. What does everybody want……..

.the spirit squad. Why they stayed together for that long is byond me


.fake undertaker

.brutis the barber and all the other gimmicks he did

.dr death steve williams: had no talent

.chainsaw charllie

.bill goldberg: who’s next my @ss. this guy faught so many creampuffs during his streak and he had no in ring ability and was horrible on the mic. He took so long to get to the ring and I’m surprised he didn’t beat him self up before he got there. And he basicly ended bret hearts carrer when he injured him. Man I hate goldberg. The sad thing is gillberg the pairody version of him lasted longer in the wwe lol ! Who’s first !

.the sultan again rakishi, damm

.The truth commision

.los baricuas: I’m purtorican and I even couldn’t stand these guys

.marvolus mark mero: if you wanna fall asleep quickly have him wrestle lance storm. unlike the wildman gimmick he had no carisma at all. at least he had sable

.almost any angle with the divas: I’m sorry but a lot of these divas can wrestle for crap these days

.scorpion sting: he was better as young sting

.randy orton when he had that concussion which mysteriously vanished … come on

.china: who wants to see a man beast protray him self as a woman

.Loc ness: three words… L O L


.the stulker

Long list isn’t it

. Sexual chocolate mark henry: when he admitted to having sex with his sister that did it with me when it came to him. Also that crap with may young when mark henry got her pregnant with the hand ! This is in my top 20 what the f**k were you thinking moments

.hack saw jim duggan: HOOOOOOOOOO!

.maven. ewww no talent at all

.the blue mennie: just plain stupenity

.The evil godwins

.naked mideon: ewwwwwwww !

.steve blackman: dream match. him against glashier (sarcastic weeeeee)

. Perry saturn when he had those cow prints on his wrestling tights

.the real double j jessie james: how hilmiliating

.and of course who could forget the imortal rocabilly! the wwe was acually trying to sign disco inferno so he could play this part but it failed so poor billy gun had to be the sacrifiscial lamb. Even more hulmilliating than the real double j. Of course sometimes two wrongs do make a right and these two became the new age outlaws

James July 15, 2007, 9:06 pm

ok guys what about:
the moondogs? they look like zztop and to tag it was permitable for them simply to hop where they were.

the Mulkeys?
the midnight rockers?
LASERTRON? i need a picture ..the internet dont seem to have one
vampiro- i hate him..hes a cement head ey?
the king harley race.
iron mike sharpe and his “armbrace”
the powers of pain! (roadwarriors ripoff for wwf)
the taskmaster
the honky tonk man
the new breed
stinky jimmy garvin and precious
remember when rick steiner was retarded?
the goombas? i think that was their name.. one was called johnny the bull
the big boss man
men on a mission
the genius leaping lanny poffo with is poetry and frisbees
adrian adonis’ cross dressing act

BlackSteelStudBrett1953 November 2, 2010, 12:19 am

Marc Mero(Johnny B. Badd,Wildman Marc Mero)was a DAMN GOOD WRESTLER but hamstrung by wrestling’s desire to create stereo-
typical black characters from the 70’s through the 90’s.(See
Saba Simba,Papa Shango/The Godfather,Kamala the Ugandan Head-Hunter,etc).In WCW,Mero played Badd,a Little Richard
re-incarnation with a hankering for the buxom blonde British
lass Jeannie Clark(“Lady Blossom”;being a black Canuck lad,I’d have LOVED TO STUDDED Blossom myself!!!)who,unfortunately,was then Steve Austin’s wife.
In WWE,Mero was a prop to his own blonde babe spouse,Rena
“Sable” Mero,later Brock Lesnar’s wife.So M.M. could have been great but for the era.

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