The Daily Ping

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May 1st, 2002

Free Pens

Something I realized about myself: if a company is offering a promotional item, I’ll take it. Sure, it increases their overhead and marketing will probably have to ask for a larger budget next year, but damn it, if there’s a cupful of pens with your company’s name on it, best believe I’m going to take one. We have plenty of use at home for pens that still have ink.

It’s sort of like free food. Today at work people were trying to unload boxes of cookies in the kitchen. You bet your booty that I grabbed at least one on each trip there to get water. It’s that whole “calories don’t count if you don’t know how many there are” thing.

I’ve realized, though, that I’m not the only one like this. If I was, there wouldn’t be the proliferation of “freebee” sites that there are. When I was offering free stickers at one of my other sites, the intention was to get loyal visitors to request some so they could help promote the site. Once the site was posted to one freebee site, though, another six picked up on it, and all of their cheap-ass visitors that want anything free being offered anywhere started e-mailing me asking for free stickers. One guy told me that he “loved my products and would love to promote them with the free stickers” despite the fact I don’t offer any products.

Where do you fall on the “If It’s Free, I’ll Take It” scale?

Looking for free pens?

If you want the hottest, coolest new pens with stars like Britney Speers, just fill out this form! ALL FIELDS ARE REQUIRED.

Name

Address

City/State/ZIP

Daytime Phone Number

Blood Type

Favorite Method of Spelling “It’s”

Estimated IQ

Most Recent School Paper Topic

Approximate Circumference of Your Pet’s Stomach (in mm)

Preferred Method of Transportation

Credit Card Number

Credit Card Type

Credit Card Expiration (mm/yy using Old Gregorian)

Balance of Your Checking Account
(All customers must have a checking account.)

Approximate Number of People Who Know How to Use the Internet

Posted in Everyday Life

Curious March 4, 2007, 2:42 am

Why are they asking for a credit card number if it is suppose to be “FREE”?

Ryan March 4, 2007, 4:50 am

Some people in this world are irony-impaired, it seems.

Lori September 28, 2007, 10:54 am

Brittney Spears?

As if. I already have lots of free pens and none of them force me to look at celebrities…..

How did you know I was Vulcan?

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