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July 8th, 2004

Scary News Anchors and Reporters

I’m not quite sure why it is, but on just about every newscast there’s at least one person who looks fake. You know it. Some have perfect (and giant) hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth, or just look like they came out of a Botox session.

I’d like to present you with my nomination: Denver channel 9’s Kirk Montgomery.

Now, it isn’t because I think Kirk looks perfect, oh no. But scary? Oh, yes. When I first saw his photo on the 9News website, I wondered if it was a photo or a painting. It looks doctored to these eyes; the lighting is almost untouchably perfect. But man, those eyes. Those eyes! They follow me around the room, they do.

Let’s have an anchor-off. Got any anchors or reporters that consistently scare you?

Posted in Television, Movies, and Music

FROM: Chris [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 9:16:16 am
I don't watch the news. I ger all my news from Fark.

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 9:42:07 am
Definitely Fox 5 DC's Will Thomas. He scares the shit out of me.

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 9:42:39 am
(And not to make light of Kirk's appearance, but man -- that's a lot of forehead.)

FROM: Greg
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 11:32:06 am
Juan Carlos gets my vote.

FROM: Rob [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 11:36:21 am
ABC 7's Maureen Bunyan scares the heck out of me. The picture doesn't do her justice. You have to see her in action.

FROM: Greg C
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 12:52:40 pm
It's just a funky picture. IMDB has a "better" one. He's doing some serious mugging, but at least it doesn't look fake.,%20Kirk

FROM: Paul
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 12:54:05 pm
I maintain my original stance, although it doesn't look fake.

FROM: Mario500 [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 2:48:27 pm
WPMI NBC 15's Sandra Shaw (former employee of WKRG TV5). In the following online photo she may appear less than "scary", but if you've been watching Channel 15 as of recent, her extra blonde hair color makes former WALA Channel 10 anchor Nancy Pierce's hair look like Jane Pauley's.

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday July 8, 2004 -- 5:28:14 pm
Not only is this Kirk Montgomery fellow freaky lookin', but he's also a weatherguy and not a genuine meteorologist. P-shaw!

FROM: Dave Walls [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday July 9, 2004 -- 12:28:16 pm
Two entries, both from NBC10 in Philly:

In the too perfect category:

Weatherman Doug Kammerer

In the scary department (especially with the bowtie):

Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz

FROM: Maria
DATE: Sunday July 11, 2004 -- 2:59:35 am
Just wanted to cast my vote for Tim Chuey. Especially when you see his larger than life photo on the side of a bus.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Sunday July 11, 2004 -- 1:12:55 pm
Tim Chuey looks like Dick Clark from an alternate reality, where the "ageless teenager" actually ages.

FROM: Marcus Mackey
DATE: Tuesday July 13, 2004 -- 10:06:57 am
Holy shnikey's Paul! Wow that dude's crazy looking!! LoL Kinda' reminds me of Martin Short in "Innerspace" when he got stung. So that must be what happens when you O.D. on Botox... Gahhhh... ::shivers::

I think you've got me beat easily, as I can't even think of anyone from Chicagoland news stations that comes close to that. LoL Maybe Bill Kurtis to a mild extent has an odd element, almost animated/cartoony look, but he's now on A&E for American Justice I believe and he can't touch that guy with a 10' pole. LoL I swear, that's about the worst I can come up with of ours. LoL

Now creepiest voice, and this isn't a newscaster so much as an actor... the guy that did City Confidential on A&E, Paul Winfield (R.I.P.). The way his voice came across was haunting and cold with a macabre and sarcasm unlike I've heard before. It worked great for the subject matter at hand which was almost always some cold and ruthless murder. He had the ability with his speaking to make Vincent Price's vocalizations seem almost cheery and bright in comparison in the various old horror-age movies Price was in. I've not heard the new narrator of City Confidential, but I can't imagine it being the same.

FROM: Bobby Leachman [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday July 23, 2004 -- 12:47:57 am
My wife is totally freaked out by Tim Cheuy. He didn't bother me at first but now he freaks me out too, sometimes. She says he's a lizard man and I do notice the reptilian quality. Big fun with the Tivo. That bus does indeed sound scary, Maria.

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Friday August 20, 2004 -- 8:08:58 pm
Wow! I made a Blog! Thanks everyone. I will pass along your comments to our Promotions Department who actually went nuts photoshoping my pic. In reality there are lots of wrinkles and well the forehead thing.... Thats genetic! :) I assure you everything on me is real.

FROM: Paul
DATE: Friday August 20, 2004 -- 8:56:23 pm
Kirk, hey! We'll be adding you to the list of famous Pingers - including, of course, Fred "Rerun" Barry. Thanks for checking in. (By the way... you do look fine on television, but that photo was just too much.)

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Saturday August 21, 2004 -- 2:43:14 am
Oh.. one more thing.. Yes I am called upon to do fill in Weather.. and yes I'm not a "meteorologist" - but you may notice either is Kathy Sabine or Larry Greene. Again, I agree the photo is a bit much, but hey I dont wave the wand of Photoshop -- Promotions Department does. And at least I'm still alive! R.I.P. Fred Berry. :)

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Sunday August 22, 2004 -- 9:07:03 pm
Thanks for stopping by, Kirk, and for having a good sense of humor!

I came upon another scary looking newsman this past weekend... he reminded me a lot of Jerry Stiller, though he looks *nothing* like him on his picture.

FROM: Tim Bo
DATE: Monday April 11, 2005 -- 12:41:18 pm
Hey Kirk - what gives with ratting out Kathy Sabine for not being a meteorologist (yet)?
She's absolutely gorgeous so folks don't seem to mind.
Some friend you are...

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Saturday May 14, 2005 -- 11:45:26 pm
Hey Tim Bo,
Just caught your comment-- Since when is stating a fact considered "ratting someone out" - Kathy is a dear friend, a gorgeous woman but not yet a meteorologist... so what? she has half a credit to go.

DATE: Tuesday July 5, 2005 -- 2:18:48 pm
Oh dear God yes. Kirk is one scary MFer. But just think if he and Shaul Turner mated? Eeesh, scares the sh*t out of me to think.

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Friday July 8, 2005 -- 10:59:43 pm
Thanks for the comment. Would love to see your photo. I can assure you, Shaul and I will not mate.

Kirk Montgomery

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Friday July 8, 2005 -- 11:55:53 pm
I hearby proclaim Kirk Montgomery "The Man With the Best Sense of Humor on TV News." Jolly good, mate.

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Wednesday July 27, 2005 -- 1:16:37 am
Ryan! Thanks for the props! -- I will also point out my new photo is not nearly as "airbrushed" as the previous one... every wrinkle I've earned in my 42 and a half years shine thru! -- :)

FROM: Paul
DATE: Wednesday July 27, 2005 -- 8:37:13 am
That is a lot better, Kirk - but now my original Ping looks a little silly without that original photo!

DATE: Tuesday August 9, 2005 -- 1:44:50 am
I can tell that you are a real hunk....your look must be just incredible !!
Is it therapeutic to put people you don't know down in public???
Unlike you...I have met Kirk and respect his work as a journalist. The 2 times I have run into him at a Starbucks he always treated me with respect and kindness and always had a smile and a laugh for anyone he would meet...regardless of their station in life. If Kirk is so "scary" then why is he on the highest rated show in Denver? People ADORE this man because he isn't cookie cutter and does his own thing.
I know this board is for fun..but you should consider that public figures are often notified when their names come up on blogs...just remember, they are human beings and have feelings just like you do. They work very hard in a tough business. Just because they do their job in public doesn't mean they deserve cruelty. What did YOU do today that people may have laughed at?? Just some food for thought..have a nice evening.

FROM: Kirk Montgomery
DATE: Wednesday September 28, 2005 -- 11:12:47 pm
Dear Big Fan of Teds/

Wow, Thanks so much for the props! -- I'm not sure people "Adore" me.. I'm really just an avereage joe who happens to have a job on TV. People are way too impressed with that. I do however, really appreicate your comments. Just trying to hang in there, like everyone else. I'm not Ron Zapolo or Phil Keating... not rich, not stuck up, not caught up in the whole "TV Thing" - just trying to bring a very small bit of good news to the world everyday.( Ok so it's about 6 min a day) -- Thanks again. :) and... I LOVE my Starbucks! heheheh :)

FROM: Shaul T
DATE: Wednesday June 14, 2006 -- 3:53:10 pm
Sounds like something is simmering between Kirk and Big Fan of Teds. Why don't you two meet again at Starbucks and then go get a room!

FROM: SurferGurl
DATE: Wednesday July 19, 2006 -- 6:38:23 pm
Just found this... I worked with Kirk in Northern California, and I can say that, in 'real life', Kirk's as cute and funny and nice as he seems on air. Face to face, he looks 10 years younger than his stated 42, and that gorgeous hair is all his. And his eyes are even more sparklling in person.

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