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September 13th, 2004

The Surreal Life Revisited

A while back I discussed how the first season The Surreal Life caught my eye. I enjoyed the second season just as much, perhaps more. Something about taking forgotten celebrities (or barely-celebrities) and sticking them in a house Real World-style for two weeks just seems like pure brilliance to me. After all, how else could we have found out how cool Tammy Faye Messner really is.

But I have noticed a casting pattern. Below is how the list of celebrities breaks down over the first two seasons, the current season, and who I think would fit the spot well for the fourth season.

The Rapper
Season one featured Hammer and Vanilla Ice came on season two. This season, Public Enemy’s Flavor Flav is the house’s resident rapper. My pick for season four: Bushwick Bill.

The Crazy Woman
This role didn’t come into play until season two, when assumed-nut Tammy Faye Messner turned out to be surprisingly normal and became the season’s highlight. This time around Charo plays the “crazy woman” role. My pick for next season: Courtney Love.

The Crazy Man
Season one had a double-dose of crazy men: Vince Neil and Corey Feldman. Ron Jeremy was season two’s representative. In season three, Flavor Flav fits this role, but he’s already up there in the “Rapper” category. Season four should bring in “the other Corey” Haim to bring things full circle.

Person Who is Somehow Barely Famous
Season one’s Gabrielle Carteris and playmate Brande Roderick and season two’s Traci Bingham were all head-scratchers because, really, who would ever really wonder what they were up to (assuming one even knows who they are). This season, it’s Brigitte Nielsen (who is currently having a fling on the show with Flavor Flav… seriously). Next season they need to call in Paris Hilton. Yes, she’s annoying and has no right being famous, but that’s precisely why she should be tapped (to come onto the show, you sicko!). Nichole Richie can visit for an episode.

Reality Show Representative
There’s always one reality alumnus represented. In season one it was Survivor‘s Jerri Manthey. The following season brought us Trishelle from The Real World. This season it’s the geekily-sexy-but-still-terribly-annoying Ryan Starr from the first American Idol. I’d go back to the American Idol well and bring in Fantasia Barrino just because she’s so freaking cool.

Forgotten TV Star
This category always brings us the most interesting folks. Season one: Emmanuel Lewis. Season two: Erik Estrada (and there was a cameo by Gary Coleman). This season: Dave Coulier, who is a surprisingly cool cat and the only person who would room with Flavor Flav. My suggestion for season four: the guy who played Cousin Larry on Perfect Strangers.

I Couldn’t Find a Place for Guys You Think Are Mellow But Really End Up Acting Like Asses
This is limited to this season’s inclusion of NKOTB’s Jordan Knight.

If you haven’t seen The Surreal Life yet, give it a shot. It’s no longer on the WB (or was it UPN? Eh, same thing.), so you’ll have to look to VH1 to find it, but seeing Flavor Flav and Dave Coulier chilling makes it all worthwhile. Trust me.

Posted in Miscellaneous

FROM: Joseph
DATE: Monday September 13, 2004 -- 12:43:22 pm
surprindlyg norman?

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Monday September 13, 2004 -- 3:05:01 pm
Wow. My fingers must have been drunk this morning.

FROM: Tina
DATE: Wednesday September 15, 2004 -- 9:33:39 am
Bushwick Bill is this guy? Do they even MAKE grain "moonshine" anymore? Sweet!

In 1991 Bushwickin had a near fatal encounter with grain alcohol and a .22 caliber pistol in a much publicized shooting incident.

They should have Napoleon Dynamite on that show. That would be truly surreal.

FROM: Ryan [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday September 15, 2004 -- 2:00:48 pm
Bushwick's beverage of choice that evening was Everclear. He got in a fight with his girlfriend and told her to shoot him. She refused, he charged her, the gun went off and shot his eye out. That night, at the hospital, they took a picture of all three Geto Boys with Bushwick on a gurney that became this album cover. It also sparked a song about the night called "Ever So Clear."

And now ya know.

FROM: Tina
DATE: Monday September 27, 2004 -- 9:26:00 am
As Surreal Life continues, I must say that Dave Coulier, once the MC of "Out of Control" (one of my fave shows, mind you) is a crashing bore! Talk about your goody-two-shoes!!! Who would have thought that Mr. Hilarity on Nickelodeon 20 years ago would be such a complete and utter tool.

FROM: cate
DATE: Thursday September 30, 2004 -- 11:36:15 am
Best line from that Bushwick Bill song: "Baby, why you shot me in the eye, I woulda shot you in da body" - Another reason why Bushwick Bill would be marketable is that he's... a little person (sorry, don't feel like Googling to find out what the pc term is for it this week) But we all know how big little people are right now. Bushwick Bill for president... or the next "Bachelor: at least... I mean, if the "Surreal Life" house is already full.

FROM: Steph
DATE: Wednesday January 12, 2005 -- 10:00:33 pm
dave coulier is so great he was my favorite one!! I love you dave!!

FROM: Walters
DATE: Tuesday July 5, 2005 -- 5:43:53 pm
Funny, Gabrielle Carteris is the main reason I gave "Surreal Life" the time of day. Enjoyed the first season, far, far more than I thought humanly possible, and haven't checked in sense.

Mrs.Eazy-E June 10, 2010, 3:18 am

i loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove BUSHWICK BILL…never seen season 7 though 🙁

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