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October 26th, 2005

Scary Chocolate Milk and Synergy

This Ping is another in a long line of two-fers.

A couple of weeks ago I was at the grocery store when I spotted something strange in the dairy case. Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or did I really see 3 Musketeers Brand Chocolate Milk? It was real, all right. Milky Way was there too – candy bar chocolate milk. Gah.

If that wasn’t scary enough, though, the website for the company behind it reads like an Onion parody of a marketing-heavy website. For instance, here is a snippet about where Bravo Brands is going.

Future opportunities are leading Bravo! into additional market segments with innovative branded products. The Bravo! success story is built upon a shared creative vision to focus fiercely on delivering highly competitive products to markets that deliver retail excitement, inspire brand loyalty and deliver an enviable return on shareholder investment.

This is a website for people like you and me, by the way. There’s lots more goodness there, including this awesome wallpaper. (1997 wants its computer graphics back.) The only things I will give Bravo are that they don’t use the word “extreme” anywhere, and they spell their product (“Slammers”) without a “Z” at the end.

Posted in Consumer Commentary

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