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May 16th, 2006

That’s Not a Pie

Here at the Ping, both of us have expressed our love of all things pie. I saluted Canada on its pot pies and Ryan confessed he enjoyed pie – but not as much as cake. Sure. That’s fine, even though he’s wrong.

But I want to share with you another disturbing trend that affects you, your neighbors, your children, and maybe your dog. I’ve seen it happen to frozen pies and pot pies more than anything else, but it could easily affect fresh pies. That problem, folks, is faux pies being sold as pies.

Oh sure, they look the same. Nice, flaky brown crust on top, and lovely filling beckoning just beyond that crisp. But if you look deeper – literally – you can find the difference between faux pies and pies: the bottom crust. The first time I experienced this I was shocked – shocked, I tell you! – to be eating a “pie” that consisted of filling in a bowl with a top crust. No side crust. No bottom crust.

That might be a pastry, or something else, but it sure isn’t pie.

I’m not quite sure what to call these faux pies, though. They aren’t cake. They’re not pies or pot pies. They’re really just their own things out there, masquerading as real pies and pot pies. “NotPies” are a safe term to start with.

But let’s be honest, here – the naming is minor compared to the conspiracy being hoisted upon the American people by George W. Bu… er, the pie and pot pie manufacturers. Call it an entree. Call it a dessert. But please, for the love of this country and freedom, don’t call it pie.

Posted in Food and Beverage

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