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February 20th, 2002

No Names of the Year 2004

Two years ago today, I boldly predicted who would become a memory, versus a celebrity, in 2002. I’m going to make predictions for 2004 in a moment – but first, let’s review how I did.

Britney Spears: Sadly, Britney is just as popular as ever. Seeing her face on the cover of numerous magazines has prepped me for the notion that Britney will be around for at least another twenty years… and will continue to make bad movies for at least eight. On this one, I was way, way off.

N’Sync: Same here – another bad call. While N’Sync have started to waddle toward history by doing a few Chili’s commercials, they have become the uber boy band in 2002.

Backstreet Boys: Thankfully my average picked up here – BSB are yesterday’s news, and are probably doing commercials for Honest Joe’s Used Car Lot, Route 12, King Side Road. On this one, I give myself a pat on the back.

Christina Aguilera: Another good call. Once Christina released a pretentious Spanish-language album, and fizzed out her hair for the deplorably, achingly bad “Moulin Rouge” video, her fifteen minutes were up. We haven’t heard from her since.

Ricky Martin: An easy target; the “Latin explosion” of 2000 – consisting of about five Hispanic pop stars – came and went. Ricky Martin’s time is gone. He’s livin’ la vida donde?

Lou Bega: When your music is used on a local Ford dealers commercial, as “Mambo No. 5” was, you know it’s over. Lou came and went with the Latin explosion. I kind of miss his all-white outfit, though – he did look pretty sharp.

So, then, who are the No Names of the Year 2004? My predictions:

Gwen Stefani
Jerry Springer
Jennifer Lopez
Nelly Furtado
Ryan Adams
Limp Bizkit

Be sure to check back in two years and see how I did. -pm

Posted in Miscellaneous

FROM: Greg
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 10:01:19 am
I'm sorry Paul, I can't agree with all your predictions.
Gwen - Is immortalized by young females dealing with identity problems and bad hair.
Springer - Will live on in trailer parks across the nation!
Who's Limp?

FROM: Chris
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 1:04:03 pm
I would argue Ryan Adams isn't a name this year...and I think Gwen will be around for a long time. When you have a body like that...You can add The Strokes to the list in place of Gwen though.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 1:18:34 pm
I definitely agree on the Strokes, Chris.

I disagree with Limp Bisquick, though... those guys will survive longer than cockroaches. Though I do think the cockroaches would make more interesting music.

FROM: Tina
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 2:11:48 pm
Yeah, ditto on the Strokes. All I hear from my friends and the radio and magazines and tv --- "oh, the Strokes are so awesome!!" I'm a big fan of that genre of music (ie Radiohead, Travis, Blur, Velvet Underground, etc etc), but the Strokes just don't do it for me. (ha ha!) I guess I am immune to their charms. Anyone else feel the same?

FROM: Matt
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 2:34:07 pm
Tina- The Strokes don't stroke you right?

FROM: Robert [E-Mail]
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 7:34:42 pm
The first three names have had years of success already. Chances are they will pollute public airwaves til aught-four and possibly beyond.

FROM: frank0
DATE: Wednesday February 20, 2002 -- 8:36:21 pm
Hold it now. I can't believe, with all the utter shit out in music-land, The Strokes would get singled out. Wow. Surely all the Creed-sounding groups, whack-ass rap artists (Ja Rule!), (c)rap-rock sound-alikes, and wannabe-as-cool-as-real-hardcore-bands-from-the-80s (Blink 187, Everclear, etc) merit this kind of slam so much more. I'm a big Radiohead and VU fan, and if The Strokes come up short (so to speak) in comparison to those bands, that's nothing to be ashamed of. The simple, lo-fi, unsophisticated sound from the Strokes is a breath of fresh air against the likes of all the over-produced, over-sampled garbage out there.

And why all the hatin' on Gwen? So what if all the little suburban debs want to be just like her. She's got style and thats 99% of the game when it comes to rock n roll.

My foul mood all began when some DPer had the audacity to diss my man Stanley Kubrick. So here's a nice bit of the ultraviolence unleashed on the DP. There I feel better now.

FROM: fresh
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 12:10:21 am
frank0 i gladly accept the help on repremandin this kid who hated on Kubrick and on the help for Gwen, thought i was the only person on the Ping woh thought she doesnt suck, but blink is a good band, true musicaly they arent all that great but their drums are great and their funny as shite on stage

FROM: Ben Grimm
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 8:39:32 am
Seems more like a list of people he doesn't like rather than a well-reasoned list of names you won't hear in 2004.

FROM: frank0
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 9:28:12 am
fresh, thanks for havin' my back. Sorry about the knock on Blink, but to my ear they can't hold a candle to all the old school SoCal HC bands they seem to be imitating, like Adolescents, Bad Religion (the classic old stuff), Descendents, and so on. I agree they are pretty funny though.

FROM: Ryan
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 9:33:06 am
The Strokes may be more palatable than Ja Rule singing alongside J-Lo, but what I've heard of them makes me feel like they're nothing but NPR and indie rock's love child. Bands like that may make a mark, but I don't see them having any long-term success.

Unfortunately, Frank, I think that all the wack-ass rappers and Creed-wannabes (and Creed themselves) will be around for entirely too long, well beyond 2004.

FROM: Paul [E-Mail]
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 9:56:48 am
Ben: Seems more like a list of people he doesn't like rather than a well-reasoned list of names you won't hear in 2004.

What? My opinion on the Ping?! Never!

FROM: frank0
DATE: Thursday February 21, 2002 -- 11:06:17 am
Ryan, I hear what you're saying. The beauty of indie groups is that they create their music despite any acclaim or lack of acclaim as the case may be (see Fugazi for the latter). The Strokes may end up on NPRs or even MTV's radar for a little, but there's a good chance they will put out strong or stronger music even after they've fallen off - see Radiohead for a good example.

My general take was the same as Ben's, that this appeared to be a list of performers that should fall off the face of the earth. I don't want to come off as a shill for The Strokes - they really aren't all that to me - but I can think of at least 100 acts that deserve that dubious distinction before I'd even consider The Strokes.

FROM: fresh
DATE: Saturday February 23, 2002 -- 6:13:59 pm
frank0 Fugazi eh? pretty sweet stuff huh? Repeater? soundtrack? now theres some rockin good times. ps: creed sucks

FROM: frank0
DATE: Saturday March 2, 2002 -- 9:38:33 am
fresh: I feel your Fugazi comments. And to give you an idea of what kind of old fart your dealing with here, I remember seeing the debut of Ian's pre-Fugazi band, Embrace - it was his first comeback since the days of Minor Threat. At that time in the DC scene, it was the equivalent of MJ faxing the "I'm back" message to the Bulls. Gosh I'm old.

DATE: Thursday July 18, 2002 -- 12:06:45 am
Creed rulez

DATE: Thursday July 18, 2002 -- 12:07:19 am

DATE: Thursday July 18, 2002 -- 12:08:09 am
Don't diss

FROM: Heavy D
DATE: Sunday July 21, 2002 -- 6:10:16 pm
Creed is worse than N'SYNC
Gwen will be around'
J-LO---still surviving with her damn rap w/nelly
Springer-long gone.
Ricky Lake Gone
Fred Durst who?
--the strokes can LIck my god damn ____________ass.


FROM: Alex
DATE: Friday July 25, 2003 -- 4:40:14 am
I don't know. Jerry Springer may become a senator or at least he's thinking about running.

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