The Daily Ping

Women make wilk, big whop!

January 12th, 2000

Mergers are the way of the 00s.

With the AOL Time Warner merger on the horizon (so long as the government approves of it,) what else can we look forward to?

Kraft Foods and General Mills will get together and create Macaroni and Cheese-ios, a wonderful breakfast cereal that takes under 30 seconds to cook.

Ford and Nike will merge to create cars and shoes even uglier than the ones they make now.

Gap and Abercrombie and Fitch combined will be known as Abergapfitchcrombie, and will sell nothing but plain white t-shirts imprinted with logos that cost $50. Kids will love them.

Microsoft and Apple will get together… oh, wait, no they won’t.

Apple and 3Com will get together (yes, they will) to create a watch-sized PDA available in orange, blue, red, and green: the iHaveawatchthathasabuiltinpdawhataboutyou.

Nestle and Schwinn will come up with a chocolate bicycle.

McDonald’s will snap up TriCon Restaurants, owners of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and KFC. They’ll further diminish the quality of food at said stores and spread the golden arches even further across the countryside.

Snapple will buy Coca-Cola in order to rid the world of its brown sugar water and spread the word of Snapple Elements!

The holidays Labor Day and Memorial Day will merge considering very few people can tell them apart, anyway.

AOL Time Warner will buy up Sony, Viacom, Microsoft, Disney, News Corp, GM and GE to create The American Big Brother, the company that produces everything.

Posted in Miscellaneous

FROM: Scott R
DATE: Monday May 20, 2002 -- 6:24:39 pm
So I'm looking around at the different postings and I see the pictures that the few of you with cameras have. I need to get one of these cameras. Technologically impaired, yes it's true : ( Oh well- Still if I had a cam like that I'd get a black and white picture of just my eyes and this would be my pic on here. That would be Sooooo cool.



FROM:
DATE: Saturday January 1, 2005 -- 2:06:03 pm



FROM:
DATE: Saturday January 1, 2005 -- 2:06:15 pm



What is this then?

The Daily Ping is the web's finest compendium of toilet information and Oreo™® research. Too much? Okay, okay, it's a daily opinion column written by two friends. Did we mention we've been doing this for over ten years? Tell me more!

Most Popular Pings

Last Week's Most Popular Pings

Let's be nice.

© 2000-2011 The Daily Ping, all rights reserved. Tilted sidebar note idea 'adapted' from Panic. Powered by the mighty WordPress.