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September 29th, 2005

The Ping’s President in 2008

When the Ping’s candidate for 2004, Henri Calitri failed to win the presidency, we were devastated. We were looking forward to living to be 925. But as the independent candidates for 2008 begin to come out of the woodwork, I feel we’ve found a proper candidate to represent our people in 2008.

DC’s own Vinnie Ferrari.

Vinnie is a professional wrestler for the indie EGW and has issued a press release showing just how serious he’ll be as our president:

WASHINGTON (8/15/05) — 2008 presidential candidate Vinnie Ferrari today promised to launch a protest of Administration member Brayson Shokker’s loss to Slambo the Clown in Saturday’s EGW Heavyweight Title match.

The three count by referee Captain Slash was not consistent, Ferrari said.

“If you look at the tape, you’ll see Shokker was up on the two count,” Ferrari said. “There was a pause for a couple of seconds, then Slambo covered Shokker for a one count, which the bias referee said was three.”

Ferrari said he wants the EGW Board of Directors to sanction a rematch with a different referee.

“I’m sure it won’t happen, though,” he said, “They know that Shokker would bring the title back to my administration.”

Slash is only one referee with whom Ferrari has issues. He is scheduled to wrestle Zack Carlucci Oct. 1 over Carlucci’s slanted officiating during a recent match between Joey Image and EGW-favorite Draven Blaze. Image won the match, but lost an opportunity to put his name in the record books when Carlucci failed to count three when Image had Blaze pinned at teh beginning of the match.

“That should have been a three-second fall, which would have been a world record,” Ferrari said. “But it’s OK. We may see a three-second fall Oct. 1.”

Forget Jesse Ventura, folks. Ferrari was the only man brave enough to stand up to Slambo the Clown and Captain Slash, so we know he’ll stand up to the injustice in the rest of the world as well.

Ferrari in ’08!

Posted in Miscellaneous

Dave Walls September 29, 2006, 6:59 pm

Any candidate endorsed by both the Ping and GWAR is where my vote goes!

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